It's amazing how far name will get you in Hollywood.

Take Sleepwalkers, a movie whose only marketable quality is a big name--its screenwriter, Stephen King. This "suspense" movie can't even fulfill the most basic expectations of the horror genre.

At its beginning the film seems to have some promise. "sleepwalkers" are a dying breed--quasi-human reptile/cast who feed on the "life force" of helpless virgins, endearing themselves to their victims in order to facilitate the big kill. The only best capable of destroying them is the house cat, a fortuitously common animal in the King's fictional town.

When we first see our hero, Charles Brady (Brian Krause), he is carving the letter "T" on his arm of for Tanya Robertson (Madchen Amick)--a rather impressive (through not original ) make-up trick . We follow him downstairs, where his mother (Alice Krige) tries to catch members of the cat vigil that is steadily growing outside her kitchen window. Always the dutiful son, Charles tries to cheer her up with a little dancing and a little incest.

Creepy enough. But then the movie rapidly self-destructs.

Charles goes off to school, and we meet Mr. Fallows (Glenn Shadix)--who we get to know as "Phallus," thanks to Charles pronunciation. He's smart enough to figure out that his student is some kind of deviant, but dumb enough to not avoid becoming a victim. The scene where Fallows' hand is ripped off and "handed" to him features what must be one of the most terrible what make up jobs in recent horror movie history.

And it's all downhill from there. Although the movie does also generate some degree of suspense and intrigue--building up to Charles, inevitable attack on Tanya--most of the time it simply drags on to its obvious conclusion.

The makers of this monstrosity do deserve some credit. They get a "10" on innovative ways to kill, which include a pencil through the ear and a corncob (yes, a corncob) through the back in addition there are at least three scenes where people's arms are pulled or broken off.

All things considered, though, Sleepwalkers is total trash. With the cheesy dialogue and a plot that doesn't manage a single twist or turn (a must for even the weakest horror movie), even its occasional moments of interest fail to impress.

King should return to his forte: writing horror novels. And he should be sure to leave this motion picture "accomplishment" off his next book jacket.