Did you know that Moses went up on Mount Cyanide and died before he reached Canada?

This tidbit of -revisionist history was among the student-produced masterpieces described by best-selling author Richard H. Lederer in a speech at the Harvard Graduate School of Education last night.

Leaderer, a graduate of the Education School and the author of several books on language, including Anguished English, entertained a crowd of approximately 60 with a talk about his favorite language, English--which he termed "the linguistic wonder of the modern world."

The author ran through a string of seemingly innocuous English phrases, pointing out misuses and puns ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous.

"How does one learn a language in which one parks in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?" he asked. "A man gets a hernia, while a woman gets a hysterectomy."

The language lover Leader explained the entymological roots of many commonly used words. The root hyst, it turns out, is derived from a Greek belief that the womb was a organ which circulated around the women's body and tickled her, causing hysteria.

Among Lederer's favorite student bloopers was that of a young historian who wrote, "Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world--with hundred foot clippers."

Teachers are no more immune to the pitfalls of punnery, although their lapses might be a bit more intentional.

For instance, Lederer told the story of a professor who was marking a student's paper on burrows. After several misspellings of "burros" as "burrows," the professor wrote, "it is apparent to me that you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground."

And Lederer dug deeper, as his list went on and on.

Struggling Verbosity

Lederer offered advice to writers struggling with problems of misunderstanding and verbosity.

"We can keep it simple where appropriate," he said. "But not simplistic."

Lederer advocated the use of one-syllable words, which are often just "as good as long ones."

"Short words are like fast friends," he said. "They will not let you down."