Do you know anything about ballet? Yeah? Okay, then stop reading this.

This article about the Boston Ballet's A Midsummer Night's Dream is aimed at those people with little (any?) exposure to the arts, the people (like me) who I like to term the "ballet-illiterate."

It will not be your average arts review, containing the usual characteristics of an arts review--the artistic interpretation by the dancers of Shakespeare's work, the effect of the lighting, the ambiance that Mendelssohn's music creates.

Why is that? Because A Midsummer Night's Dream is over. The End. El Fin. You'll never see it again. (Or at least not until the Boston Ballet decides to perform it again in another season).

So what is the point of this article?

It is to expose you, the "ballet-illiterate," to the realm of the performing art of ballet and to dispel common myths that might prevent you from watching one.

Myth #1: Ballet is boring. Here is the plot of A Midsummer Night's Dream: Hermia loves Lysander. Lysander loves Hermia. Demetrius loves Hermia. Helena loves Demetrius. Hermia's dad, Egeus, wants Hermia to marry Demetrius. Hermia and Lysander flee. Oberon, who is fighting with Titania for a child, orders Puck to use a magic flower to make Demetrius love Helena.

Puck screws up. Lysander now loves Helena. Demetrius now loves Helena. Oberon now loves the rear end of Bottom, whose head has been replaced by donkey's.

And that's only Act I.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Music by Felix Mendelsohn

Choreography by Bruce Wells

The Boston Ballet

at the Wang Center for the Performing Arts

The point is that ballet can be exciting. Hey, the plot of A Midsummer Night's Dream was reminiscent of your standard soap opera episode of One Life to Live. I even drew a flow chart to keep track of who loved whom and who was supposed to love whom. How much more excitement could you imagine possible in 40 minutes?

Myth #2: Ballet dancers wear stupid, frilly tutus. Nope, not any more. Tutus are the costumes of the past. Today's dancers sport vibrant tights, flowing lace dresses, intricate jacket overlays and even wings.

Puck even wore a revealing chain of leaves for his costume. Sometimes the dancers don't even have buns in their hair. How's that for modernization?

Myth #3: Ballet has no words. How can it portray a story with no words? Ballet has not even a hint of a spoken word. But that's the coolness of it. Ballet doesn't need words. The dancers use action to elicit the story.

They use drama. They use hand gestures, facial expressions and even fake Hollywood-style punches.

Lysander flutters his hands in front of his heart to show his new-found love for Helena. Puck leaps and cartwheels around the stage to create his character, the free-spirited, effeminate sycophant of Oberon. Bottom's friends flee trepidly after they discover that he now has a donkey's head.

Now that I have dispelled some of the popular myths about ballet, I hope that all of you "ballet-illiterate" people out there will venture to the Wang Center to experience one. You might actually find that you like it.

Give it a test try. On the Edge is the next Boston Ballet production starting March 12. I, now being "semi-ballet-literate" might even be there to join you.