Do I like Harvard?
Of course I do. I love it.
That's the response I give whenever anyone asks me my opinion about life as a Harvard undergraduate. I say it quickly, without even really thinking. I rave about my classes, my roommates, even about the times when I've walked through the Yard on a cold December night, my boots crunching in the snow. "It's so diverse," I chirp, sounding eerily like the glossy brochures they hand out at admissions meetings. It's everything you could ever want in a University.
Well, sort of.
To be fair, I've generally had a positive experience at Harvard. There was always the dark slogan that "Mother Harvard does not coddle her young," but I've been fortunate enough always to find someone there to talk to-a proctor, a graduate student, a roommate--who actually listened to me and gave me support. But I would be lying if I didn't say I'd hadn't any moments when I wanted to give up and go home to Mom and Dad. The University can be generous, but not always up to giving you warm fuzzies. But then, neither is the real world.
As a woman, I've experienced my share of frustrations on the campus. Most of these are problems that occur virtually everywhere-fear of walking alone at night, fear of date rape, even just annoyance at some sexist comment a male colleague unwittingly throws out in section. These problems occur everywhere, not just at Harvard. But there is something else I've struggled with, something I've talked about with other undergraduate women and female faculty. It's the question of identity.
At first, that statement sounds trite, but it does have validity. Where do women fit in an institution that for years was a bastion of male thought and scholarship? We're just beginning to carve our presence in The Crimson, the Undergraduate Council, the Institute of Politics. The number of women in the U.C. this year is higher than it's ever been before. The ratio of men to women is slowly moving towards 50:50. On the surface, things look fine.
Yet the Women's Studies program here can only accept 15 new concentrators each year due to funding limitations. This is at a University with one of the largest endowments in the world. Most of the departments, especially the sciences and social sciences, still have a male majority as faculty. Who are women to look to for role models when there are no female teaching fellows in Chemistry 30, for example?
As women, we are technically both Radcliffe and Harvard students. Yet what is Radcliffe? Very few of us know. We know where Radcliffe Yard is, just up Garden Street. Perhaps we've ventured into the Lyman Common Room a couple times to check out the mentorship program or the Murry Research Partnerships. But ultimately, our affinities lie with Harvard. I see a zillion Harvard sweatshirts everyday, both on and off campus. I see very few Radcliffe ones.
Perhaps our generation will be the generation that equalizes the gender ratios in each academic department here. Perhaps by the time I come back for my 25th reunion, we'll have a walking escort service that will take us down to the river from Lamont without making us wait for an hour and a half. Maybe we'll have some younger, brighter faces in the departments that have been granted tenure. Or exams before Christmas. Who knows? A woman might even replace Neil L. Rudenstine.
Do I like Harvard? Yes, I do, despite my confusion over whether to put on my Harvard or Radcliffe sweatshirt in the morning before I go jogging. I have my complaints, but I'm confident that they will be alleviated as the years go by. I'm optimistic, despite the negative tone of some of my peers. For me, the key to Harvard's advancement is change-change that will occur as men and women begin to share leadership posts within the University community.
Hallie Levine '95 is on the Editorial Board of Lighthouse.
