Ever since I stepped on the Harvard campus I knew I was going to be slightly different from everyone else, but that is what diversity is about. Like everyone else, I had stereotyped Harvard and I never saw how I would fit into the images I had of this place.

To me Harvard was a genius haven for study-holics where money talked and networking was a must. I am not a genius and I do not study all the time; my working class family straddles the poverty line and I do not like the networking that many of my peers use as a stepping stone to their careers. To top it all, I am a woman of color with an accent and, yes, an attitude. I am a Mexican-American woman--a Chicana--at a predominantly white and male university. I'm still not certain if I have learned to adjust to my new environment.

It was an honor for me just to be admitted. I was the first person from my high school to be admitted, though Mexican-Americans have been recruited to the College since 1969. It took 20 years for someone from my high school to be accepted and I see this as part of the problem.

The summer before I came here, I dreaded thinking about how I would do here academically and socially. I especially dreaded the non-Hispanic people who I would meet. I thought my roommates and classmates would not understand where I was coming from. The reality was not as bad as I expected, but it was not good either.

Coming to Harvard has been a sobering experience for me. It is the first time I have acutely felt that I'm a minority. In my Texas border town, Hispanics of predominantly Mexican descent represent more than 75 percent of the population officially; unofficially the number is probably closer to 90 percent with the illegal migrant population. The student body of my high school was 99 percent Hispanic. Spanish, or Spanglish, was more common than English in my neighborhood. In the United States, Hispanics account for approximately 20 percent of the population. At the College, Hispanics account for approximately 6 percent of the undergraduate population.

My biggest disappointment is to find that people of Hispanic background are not affirmed by the institution that is Harvard University. The number of Hispanics at every level at this University is far below the national standard. Hispanics are grossly underrepresented.

The Hispanic presence at Harvard, partly because the recruiting strategy is not aggressive enough, has not increased. Every year I look forward to more Hispanics on campus, but I always see about the same number of faces at meetings of Latino organizations.

Only six percent of the student body at Harvard is Hispanic and only 2.5 percent is of Mexican descent. Out of 6400 undergraduates about 400 are Hispanic with about 120 of Mexican descent and of these less than 40 are women. An acquaintance of mine who graduated two years ago recalls that is the same number as when she started her first year. According to the a report compiled by the University's Affirmative Action Office, there are four Hispanic senior faculty in the whole University. I can only name one.

The problem starts with the recruiting efforts. These are not far reaching enough to increase the pool of Hispanic applicants. The University is trying, but it is using the same methods used five years ago. Over those five years, the amount of Hispanic representation here has remained stagnant. This begins at the undergraduate level and worsens at the faculty level.

Every year minority undergraduates volunteer to recruit in their home towns to try to increase the pool of applicants to the college as a part of the Undergraduate Minority Recruitment Program. This, however, is too large a task for too small a group of students. Invariably schools and even cities and geographic regions are left off the recruiters' lists. Recruiters are encouraged to repeat previous visits or go to schools where there's potential--i.e. a feeder school.

The fall of my senior year, two college recruiters--from Harvard and Columbia--visited my school. It was the first time I was singled out as Ivy League material and it was only because of my standardized test results. It was then that I decided to apply to Ivy League and equivalent schools. However, just the fact that I made it through high school sets me apart from more than half of the Hispanic population.

No college recruiter is going to make an effort to talk to at-risk students at lesser known schools if there is a Hispanic student at a more rigorous academic (read: nonminority) school. Recruiters are supposed to help increase the pool of applicants, but efforts to find new pools have not been made. Only recently has Harvard looked in its own backyard--the minority neighborhoods of Boston--for new pools.

Hispanic barrio public schools, like mine, are sometimes included on the visiting lists. But the University wants results, and results come from places that have proved successful in the past. The pool of college bound lower class Hispanics is not increasing and no one is making an active effort to increase it. Universities throughout the country do not tap this resource regularly. If they did, they may be surprised at the students they find. Some barrio kids do make it to college. I did.

The current recruiting strategy hurts Latino organizations on campus. Of the total Hispanic undergraduate population in my class, about 20 became actively involved with Latino organizations. These organizations are lucky if they get more than 40 members to come to a meeting. More will show up to social events, less will show up if the organization becomes political and, dare I say, radical.

I have been actively involved in two Latino organization on campus, perhaps even too active. But I do not regret the work that I have done. Through this involvement I tried to build the Hispanic community at Harvard. I wanted to instill a sense of familia within the Hispanic community so it would be more welcoming. I wanted Harvard to feel more like home. But Harvard is a cold place and I cannot do this if I am a community of one.

Mother Harvard is a stubborn institution set in her ways. It takes patience and dedication to convince her to change or alter her traditions. In the past ten years, she has neglected the Hispanic community she needs so much to prove her diversity. Harvard needs to build the Hispanic community by bringing more of us at every level. The simple problem is that we are not represented on campus, and the less simple answer is that we need more students, faculty and staff of Hispanic descent on this campus.

But in my experience, efforts to increase our presence have not proved successful. I talk to administrators about the faculty hiring process, and I have yet to get a straight-forward answer. When I bring up the question of representation, I am told to go to speak to someone else who is in charge of that. But no one at Harvard is in charge of building the Hispanic community.

All ethnic organizations complain, at some point, about underrepresentation, since ethnic minorities are not well represented in the College, faculty or staff. When it comes to the curriculum, ethnic experiences, especially the Hispanic and the Asian American ones, are indiscernible. These ethnic communities, as well as others, have experiences that would enrich all of the Harvard community. Yet we are invisible.

Looking through the courses book I get the feeling that my ethnic group is indeed invisible. My history and background are not important enough to be the subject of a single class. Course descriptions also fail to mention if my ethnic group is to be studied in a course where it would be relevant. If Hispanics are mentioned in a course, no more than one week will be devoted to this experience and the entire Hispanic experience is lumped together, forgetting differences between Hispanic sub-groups.

I know that many problems plague the Hispanic community nationwide and I know that I cannot change them in my lifetime. But I can try to make some changes, especially among the Hispanic community here at Harvard.

I periodically look around my classrooms to see if there are some brown faces or vaguely Hispanic ones. I have gotten used to being the only Hispanic in section in all subjects--science, literature and government. Since Harvard is unwilling to take any initiative, it is up to Hispanic students to build our community. I know that this is not an easy task, but it is something that we must do. If we do not raise our voice, we will not be heard.