What's in a name? What's in a name like "Eiffel Mower" or "Lionel Lollipops?"

For those who live in a first-year dorm, the answer to this age-old question is the heart, creativity and pride (or lack thereof) of an entire intramural squad.

As first-years organize teams and begin vying for the coveted Yard Cup, an altogether different competition has emerged as entryways battle it out in the name game. The names of the first-year intramural sports teams this year range from cute to funny and bizarre to perverse.

Many of the first-years interviewed said the names of the teams assert the confidence and determination of their entryways. Mark Rosen '95 of the "D-Straus D-Stroyers" said, "I think that our name sends a clear message to the rest of the freshman dorms that our entryway is poised and ready to completely dominate the freshman intramurals."

Seth Kleinman '95, also a Straus Hall D resident, added that he thought the names are "representative of the ingenuity and uniqueness of the Harvard Class of '95."

A Punny Class

Several first-years took advantage of the names of their dorms when devising team names, using rhymes, alliteration or simple word play. Among them are "Eiffel Mower," "The Hurlbut Cheeks" and "The Beasts from Grays East."

On the top two floors of Massachusetts Hall--above President Neil L. Rudenstine's office--the "Massholes" reign supreme. Mass Hall resident Jamie Ames '95 said he liked the name, commenting that it showed his team is "tough as nails."

However, Ames's cousin Andrew Ames '95, a Hollis Hall resident, commented that "Massholes" is "a fitting name" for the residents of the dorm.

Slippery Fingers and Fuzzy Ducks

Many first-year teams have names fraught with innuendo, such as the "Lionel Lollipops" with its slogan "Just try to like us." One Canady entryway named its team "The Slippery Fingers." Matthews Hall North expressed a less carnal attitude, naming its team "The Good Personality."

Several squads have names that seem impossible to decode for those who do not live in the entryway. The names "Holworthy East Sharklites," "Pennypacker Bovine Fishermen," "Straus Primeval Concubines" and "Straus Newellie's Bullies" are opaque to most yardlings.

Many first-years were puzzled as to the meanings and creation of their own intramural team's name. When asked about the origin of the Canaday A "Fuzzy Ducks," resident Daniel White '95 answered, "I don't know what the hell a fuzzy duck is."

White's entrymate David Camacho '95 was very pleased with the name "Fuzzy Ducks," saying that "it's really virile and manly."

No Name Needed

Grays Hall Middle has no intramural team name, and resident Matthew Strong '95 says he prefers it that way. He stated that Grays truly needs no name for its teams, as the mere mention of the dorm will intimidate other first-years anyway.

Pointing to "the multitude of physical and mental abilities" shown by his entrymates in their conquest of the Yard Plate, Strong asserted that Grays "can crush the competition in any...sport."