He can have sex with Donna Rice, Jessica Hahn, Bob Dole. He can nuke Yugoslavia, legalize slavery, give ourselves back to England. He can abolish motherhood, apple pie, the American flag.

George Herbert Walker Bush can do whatever the hell he wants. He's still going to win in '92. No matter what. Beat Bush/Quayle? The Dems couldn't beat Bush/Hitler.

But why is this man so insanely popular? Poppy was born rich. He attended a prep school for rich boys and girls, then joined a Yale social club for rich boys (no gurlz allowed). He takes paid golfing/boating vacations in Kennebunkport while the world disintegrates around him. He's no friend of the working class, the ill or the dispossessed.

We're not talking about a man of the people here.

But America loves him. He mumbles and bumbles about prudence and patience and somehow ends up looking tough, thoughtful and firmly in control. Bush is no Teflon man. He's more like a porcupine--mess with him politically, and you'll get hurt.

He'll never be mistaken for an "education president," or an "environmental president." He doesn't really have much of the vision thing. He wraps himself in the flag and breaks his promises. He possesses the most closely watched heartbeat in the Western Hemisphere and will continue to do so as long as you-know-who remains a heart-beat away.

But people like George Bush. They figure he's a decent guy at heart, and they're probably right. They figure he's an effective diplomat, and they're probably right. They figure he's not going to create too many domestic catastrophes of epic proportions, and they're probably right about that, too.

So what if he's a mediocre president? He's our mediocre president. And he's money in the bank.