Absence of Accuracy

The Association Against Learning in the Absence of Religion and Morality recently published the first issue of its new newsletter "The Standard Bearer." Here's a quote from the first article, titled "Why the Standard Bearer?":

"The environs of Harvard's campus are sprinkled with reminder's [sic] from the school's past--each dorm, library, church, and statue has a story all its own. With the quick pace of student life at Harvard, we are constantly surrounded by this history and yet we remain quite oblivious to it. Of course, to many, the messages from Harvard's past are anachronisms in modern life--mere tributes to dead white men--such as the words of Emerson on the hall bearing his name, "What is man that thou art mindful of him?"...

Wow, While AALARM members were busy learning in the presence of religion and morality, they obviously neglected to consult the source itself. The Crimson's trusty copy of the Bible (King James Edition) indicates that the "What is man" quote can actually be found in Psalm 8, Verse 4. Despite the egregious (and highly ironic) error, rumor has it that the original author otherwise appreciates AALARM's work and will not be pressing charges.

Pack Up the Farm

When The Crimson broke the big news that Spike Lee will be coming to Harvard next spring to accept a visiting lectureship, both the national and the local media gobbled up the story. The Associated Press, after crediting the Crimson with the original story, interviewed soon-to-be Professor Lee over the phone from his Brooklyn studio, "Forty Acres and a Mule":

"Lee confirmed Thursday that he will teach a film interpretation class next spring. 'I'm looking forward to it,' Lee said in a telephone interview from his Forty Mules and an Acre Studio in Brooklyn, N.Y."

Forty mules and an acre? We know that there are plenty of empty offices in the Afro-Am Department building, but if Lee is planning to bring all 40 mules, where is he going to put them? Perhaps Lee might accept an appointment at the Museum of Comparative Zoology in exchange for a small donation to the "Taxonomy of Pack Animals" exhibit.

Phew. We're Safe.

British publishing magnate Robert Maxwell granted an exclusive interview to the Crimson this week right after striking a deal to purchase the nearly-dead New York Daily News. Given Maxwell's corporate-raiding tendancies, the reporter asked Maxwell if he had any plans to purchase the Crimson.

"No," he reassured our reporter. "Oxford is much prettier than Harvard."

Good thing. We really didn't want to print that week-long feature series on the life of Prince Charles.