My Dearest GIRLS:

DARLINGS, I wanted to be the first to brush back my long flowing tresses, throw open my dainty little mouth and shout--in an operatic tremor befitting a DIVA like myself--BRAVA on your latest FABULOUS double issue of Peninsula.

As a flamboyantly effeminate faggot, I appreciate the length (no pun intended, OF COURSE) of time and energy you have so diligently devoted to me and my fellow sisters (is that an oxymoron?). I have to say that I haven't had that much sheer, unadulterated, orgiastic excitement and pleasure since Alexis and Crystal had their big blowout on Dynasty. Did you all see that episode? If not I have it on tape. You are all more than welcome to come over to my deviantly decorated boudoir for a "private showing."

And if you're really feeling in the mood, perhaps I will reveal to you some of my beauty secrets like how to put on mascara without it clumping or smudging. Come to think of it, perhaps that would make a perfect follow-up issue--Fruitful Flares of Fancy Fashionable Faggotry (All you ever wanted to know but were too afraid to ask). I'd be more than willing to be your "special guest star," or editor, whatever the case may be.

Kisses that NEVER smudge, Paul "Flaming Faggot Fairie" Franklin, a.k.a. COCO   Fine Arts/Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian Issues Tutor, Winthrop House

P.S. For full effect, imagine the above text being held by a skinny bejeweled limp wrist and being uttered in a very prominent lisp, a particularly FABOO form of locution which only we fags (I gladly include ANY and ALL of you) can truly achieve.