Here, in summary, are my opinions concerning the events at the Mather House party on Sunday night, February 19:

There were in fact two separate events.

The first involved my twice asking a man to dance. As it turned out, he was the guest of a Mather House resident. I should have realized after the first request that he wasn't interested. He claims that my second request involved physical contact. I deny that charge. At the time, I didn't consider my actions to be offensive. In looking back over the incident, however, I realize that my second request was out of line.

Sexual harassment in any form is a very serious matter. If my actions constituted harassment in the eyes of the people involved, then there is no excuse for my behavior. I offer first, my sincere apologies, and second, my promise to act in a more considerate fashion in the future.

The second event of Sunday night was an incident of homophobic harassment directed at me. After the dance was over, several friends of the man I had asked to dance confronted me. They shoved me around, threatened me with physical harm and insulted me in strongly offensive terms.

At no time did my attackers attempt to explain the reasons behind their actions. After the man in question declined my second offer to dance, I had considered the matter settled and never approached him again. It never occurred to me to connect my earlier requests to dance with the harassment I received after the dance was over. My attackers' insults and taunts were without exception directed at the issue of my orientation. As far as I know, they were merely "fag-bashing" a randomly selected homosexual.

In fact, they thought they were taking due revenge for what they perceived as an incident of harassment. Clearly they should have brought their complaint to a representative of the administration, instead of resorting to violence.

Their physical abuse, threats, and homophobic taunts and insults, left me shaken, confused and angry. I, in turn, would hope for an apology from them, and hope they will respond.

It is a shame that the commotion and rumors surrounding the incidents of Sunday night have obscured the primary issue which prompted the Kiss-in and the demonstrations which followed. At issue is the problem of homophobia, both at Mather and at Harvard as a whole. I am not pointing fingers and calling everyone a homophobe; that would be wrong, and the problem is more farreaching than that. Plenty of people at Mather, straight people, have shown their support. The pink triangles in the courtyard windows were a very moving example of that support by straight friends. But the problem is one of a pervading atmosphere at the University, which can only be changed by a general consciousness-raising.

Gay people at Harvard hesitate to come out of the closet because sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. All of a sudden, you are a minority. People treat you differently. They look at you funny. You mention last night's date and suddenly everyone is silent and turning red and desperately eager to assure you of their orientation. You can't hold your loved one's hand in public any more without shocking people. You can't dance with your loved one because it becomes a public gesture of defiance instead of a fun thing you do on a date. You can't tell your friends on your sports team that you're gay because they might not want you in the locker room any more. People say nasty things about "faggots," as they always have, but now you know they're talking about you. That really hurts.

Sometimes it seems easier to hide in the closet and live a lie instead of attempting to come out. Actually, both options are pretty awful, but then that's the dilemma of life as a gay person. And that's homophobia. And that's the problem.

I appreciate the efforts which the Mather community has already made to communicate their feelings on these issues. I hope more honest discussion and openmindedness will result in a more comfortable atmosphere for everyone living in the House.

The writer is the Mather House resident who was harassed last month. As a matter of policy, The Crimson does not reveal the names of people who are directly involved in cases of harassment.