Jolly St. Nick picks his Christmas gifts well.
He left them with us--but how, we can't tell.
So now it's our duty to spread Christmas cheer
to people we don't like.
To Bok, we give his two billion dollars
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to hire a couple of more varied scholars.
We give him The Crimson--the voice of his minions--
his spending to mirror our worthy opinions.
To Clark, who has made the Law School so tense,
we give a quick trial without good defense.
To Robert Putnam and K-School nobility,
we offer a mission and respectability.
To Verba, we give the magical power
to hire minorities and make bureaucrats cower.
To junior professors waiting for tenure,
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Arts Group Intended No Offense
