More than 400 years ago, the great Italian seer Nostradamus took a day out of his busy schedule to scratch on clay tablets his predictions for each year of the second half of the 20th century. Then he sent the predictions to 14 Plympton Street, which he had foreseen to be the future site of The Harvard Crimson. He's been right before, so here are his predictions for 1988, printed in their entirety.

January

Wednesday 6--In a major fundraising coup, Kennedy School Dean Graham Allison secures a pledge of $2.5 million from New York philanthropist J. Rodney Peeter. The money is slated to fund a new mid-career program for middle-aged, unemployed political scientists. In a statement released today, President Derek C. Bok announces that Peeter's gift was conditioned on his being offered a University post commensurate with the size of the unprecedented donation and that Peeter would replace Allison as K-School dean effective immediately.

Thursday, 14--Norman Ornstein Professor of Political Punditry Marvin Kalb announces his candidacy for President of the United States. "During my 'Candidates '88' conversations I have convinced myself that I am smarter, better informed and better looking than the current crop of candidates," Kalb told himself in an interview broadcast this morning.

Tuesday, 26--The Kennedy School announces that former Dean Graham Allison today will become the first unemployed, middle-aged political scientist to be awarded a fellowship to study at the new Peeter Program for Unemployed, Middle-Aged Political Scientists. "As a firm beliver and beneficiary of the Peter Principle," Allison says. "I am grateful for this opportunity to live for a semester off of Peeter's principal."

February

Tuesday, 9--Voting is light in today's Iowa caucusses due to rumors that MTV will be broadcasting a John Cougar Mellencamp video sometime during the day, but the results are conclusive: Four out of five dentists recommended Trident for their patients who chew gum and the other 20 percent just don't care. On the political front, the big winner today is Waylon T. Pickens, who beat back a crowded field to become auditor of Cornpone Country.

Tuesday, 16--Building upon the momentum of his successful bid for auditor of Cornpone Country, Waylon T. Pickens stuns the Democratic and Republican parties by sweeping to victory in both parties' primaries. "We're in deep shit," said Democratic national Chairman Paul Kirk. "Us too," said his GOP counterpart. In a statement, Pickens tells reporters not to look into his past for sordid details. "I carry a piece and I like to use it," he added.

Wednesday, 24--In their first ever vote on divestment, the Board of Overseers calls on the University's governing Corporation to sever all ties with companies that do business in South Africa.

A corporation member comments: "Divestment? What do they mean by that?" Another corporation member comments: "Divestment, mmmm, that means we should sell stock in companies that do business in South Africa, doesn't it?"

March

Tuesday, 1--The yearly debate of how the freshman housing lottery should be changed begins.

Monday, 7--Surprise Presidential frontrunner Waylon T. Pickens announces his withdrawal from the race following his arraignment on manslaughter charges. Pickens, who has campaigned from his front porch, was trimming his hedges with a Stanley power tool when he inadvertently decapitated a Miami Herald reporter.

Tuesday, 8--The newly rejuvenated presidential candidacies of Gray Hart and Bob Dole receive an additional jolt of energy from their stunning victories in today's Super Tuesday primaries. "I'm a sarcastic guy, so I better not comment." Dole said.

Thursday, 24--Results of the Freshman Housing lottery are announced: