George Steinbrenner has been called a lot of things--domineering, obnoxious, interfering. And also fat.

Add to that list, "having an uncanny sense of timing." While panicky investors in lower Manhattan spent Monday jettisoning their stocks like sandbags in a sinking hot-air balloon, the owner of the New York Yankees in the South Bronx reshuffled his management with characteristically reckless impatience.

Billy Martin is back as manager. Lou Piniella is in the general manager's chair, and one can hardly help but wonder whether "Black Monday" will be as infamous in Yankee history as it will be in America's.

But Steinbrenner's timing represents more than a delightful omen for Yankee haters the world over. "The Fat Man" has inadvertently undercut his own ink-quest.

While previous Martin rehirings received national news airplay, the stock market crash and attacks on Iran prevented the networks from engaging in what would have been a rather inappropriate sidelight into the vagaries of the national pastime.

Nevertheless, Steinbrenner's poor timing should not obscure the driving force behind his ownership: the principal owner has consistently pursued tabloid headlines over winning strategies. Sure, winning is a fine means of getting in the papers. But there are many more reliable ways, such as punching an obnoxious fan, firing Billy Martin, releasing long and asinine letters to the press, rehiring Billy Martin, calling Dave Winfield "Mr. May," firing Billy Martin again, demoting established major leaguers to the minor leagues; and, finally, rehiring Billy Martin. Again.

The 1980 Yankee season demonstrated Steinbrenner's essence most vividly. After a relatively tranquil season in which the late Dick Howser led the Yankees to their highest win total in almost two decades, Steinbrenner usurped the headlines by apologizing to New York for the Yankees' World Series loss and firing the effective but uncontroversial Howser.

Winning 103 games was fine, George said, but if you don't give me a Series championship or some front-page news, good-bye.

The latest installment of "the George and Billy Show" is equally transparent in motive. Sure, Billy is a fine manager for a few months, but to think any New York Yankee can take him seriously at this point is a bit much to ask. And promoting Lou Piniella to the post of general manager is patently absurd.

Just a few months ago Steinbrenner said he had made a mistake in hiring Piniella two years ago; he should have asked Sweet Lou to manage in the minor leagues for a few years first.

Okay, so Lou doesn't have the experience to manage the daily affairs of 24 baseball players. Steinbrenner expects us to believe that he does have the experience to shape the entire organization's talent base, the vast pool of major and minor league players that will determine the long-run future of the New York Yankees? Come on, George.

What "Steinbrenner-Ball" boils down to is a complete absence of talent judgment. George and his infamous "baseball people" (do these guys have seams on their heads?) shuffle players in and out of the lineup and expect them to produce on demand.

In June of this past season, for example, Yankee pitcher Charles Hudson appeared on the leaders' board for winning percentage even though George had farmed him out a few weeks earlier. Steinbrenner just doesn't realize that baseball is a game of streaks, and even the finest player can have a bad week, a bad month, or a bad season.

Just Win, Baby

The fact remains, the most reliable strategy of riding the crests and troughs of baseball is nurturing a steady core of ballplayers over the years, making well-placed trades when the opportunities arise, and surrounding the core with role players who know what is expected of them and don't have the threat of minor-league ball hanging over them.

But this gradual, steady approach to building a winner is the least controversial and the least newsworthy way. George will have none of that. So the next time someone tells you that Steinbrenner thinks "winning is everything," say that George craves headlines in the papers over W's in the standings. Say that the Yankees haven't won a pennant in the last six years, and that you hope Steinbrenner had 500,000 shares of Digital, down 42 points.