Every year around Christmas, most students who play the Secret Santa game find themselves in possession of too many 2 oz. bottles of Grand Marnier, little trinkets from Urban Outfitters, singing telegrams and other non-utilitarian presents. In computer lingo, those are B-O-R-I-N-G.

So this Christmas, the Happy Hacker thought he'd lend a hand to holiday shoppers with a few computer-related gift ideas.

Actually, if you're giving to a real computerphile, give non-computer gifts. (People like the Happy Hacker already spend too much time in front of the computer screen.) Buy them something social--a gift certificate to Steve's or tickets to a show.

But for a computer-related gift, here are a few suggestions relayed via satellite from Santa's North Pole helpers:

First Gift Idea: Reems of Paper

Computer paper ($8-$25) is a safe staple in demand by letter-writers and thesis compilers alike. Fanfold paper is available in various sizes, though most writers prefer 9 1/2 x 11 paper since the sides rip off to make it 8 1/2x 11. Paper comes in various quantities, depending on how much you're willing to spend.

Second Gift Idea: Dust Covers

Another relatively inexpensive gift is a dust cover to help keep a computer from collecting nasty particles floating around a dorm room. Dust covers ($10-$40, depending on its size and shape) are designed to fit specific computer models, printers and monitors--so it's important to know what brand and model you are trying to purchase for.

Third Gift Idea: Surge Suppressors and Line Filters

Line filters and surge suppressors ($30-$90) help take the inconsistency out of Harvard's power lines. Most computer owners could benefit from any one of these goodies, especially if they live near any large-appliances, such as laundry machines, refrigerators or even toaster-ovens.

Unsuspecting undergraduates who own a surge protector will never know if at any moment their paper was just saved from voltage destruction.

Fourth Gift Idea: Software

Although software is a terrific present, most software is expensive (at least $100) and should only be given to people who have expressed a specific need. Computer users tend to prefer one software package over another, and it's best to ask before buying. While it is possible to buy someone any brand of surge suppressor, the Happy Hacker does not recommend giving just any spelling checker or database program without first checking on the user's needs and preferences.

Fifth Gift Idea: Disk Drive Cleaners

Another nifty stocking stuffer is a disk drive cleaner ($5-$15), a handy little device to keep someone's disk drive reading loud and clear. Basically, a special disk is inserted into the disk drive, and it uses its non-abrasive cleaner to clean the read-write head.