Four-Letter Word Formations

Members of the Stanford University band were caught with their pants down on November 1.

And since they were urinating in the middle of a football field at the time, college were not pleased. The band was already on slippery ground, because it spelled out four-letter words in formation the week before.

As a result of its indiscretions, the band was suspended from playing at the UCLA game November 8, and will not be allowed to march--or urinate--on the field at the traditional Big Game against University of California at Berkeley next weekend.

Stanford Athletic Director Andy Geiger made the decision to suspend the band, calling members' actions "insulting and lewd."

"I can't trust them," Geiger said last week. "They don't seem able to have a level of taste and values that represent this place. As long as it's that way, they're not going to play on the same field as the football team."

Still, 95 band members will accompany the Stanford Cardinals to the Coca-Cola Bowl in Tokyo on November 30. But they must abide by conditions set by the athletic department.

Band Manager Jeff Stevens said he was surprised when the band dropped their drawers en masse. "It came out of an attitude that the band can get away with anything," he said. IOWA STATE

Now That's Roughing It

Students at Iowa State University are putting the squeeze on administrators, who say they're really a soft touch when it comes to toilet paper.

The tissue issue arose last week, when some dormitory residents complained the toilet paper was too rough and demanded a better product.

"It's just brown-wrap paper... It's one ply, rough, coarse and hard. You can hear it crinkle," said Kim Collier, an 18-year-old freshman from Chicago who's leading the complaints.

Jim Day, director of Richardson Court Residence Halls, which comprise about a third of the 20 campus dorms that house 10,000 students, said officials are willing to help relieve the situation.

"If they want [a better brand] then we'll try to provide it," Day said Tuesday. "It may involve getting different brands and letting the students get involved in testing it to get some ideas."

The toilet paper tug-of-war at the Ames campus, about 30 miles north of Des Moines, has gotten national attention, and Collier said in a telephone interview that her phone hadn't stopped ringing since the story broke.