Questions about your personal computer? Need advice about the latest in software? The Crimson runs a weekly column on computer life at Harvard--and it's designed for the layman. Letters are welcome and should be addressed to the Happy Hacker c/o The Harvard Crimson, 14 Plympton St., Cambridge, MA 02138.

Telecomputing. Visions of sugar plums and fiber optic cables swirled through the Happy Hacker's head. In reality, however, telecommunications isn't very complicated. It simply involves hooking your computer up to a telephone. Usually you buy a modem ($100 to $250) and plug one end into your computer and the other end into a telephone outlet.

Since the most commonly asked question about modems is, "What can they do?", the Happy Hacker makes one important suggestion: hook up with Harvard's massive computer facilities. And you don't even need a modem or an expensive personal computer. Just walk into the Science Center and follow any of the following suggestions. (But it's much more fun from your own dorm room.)

First, in addition to a personal computer--either a Macintosh, IBM compatible or just about anything else--you'll need some terminal software. One common terminal program for the IBM or Mac is Kermit, available for only $5 from the Science Center stock room. If you have a friend with Kermit, you can copy it free of charge.

Once you've got all the necessary accessories, just dial up Harvard's port selector at 495-9280. This number will work for either 1200 or 300 baud modems. Next you need to type in what class computer you want. If you have not set up a low-priority account, turn off your computer, go down to the Science Center basement and ask on of the terminal watchers to create a Class 4 low-pri account for you. They will assign you a logname and password. That accomplished, you're ready to telecompute away.

The Happy Hacker's favorite use of the Harvard computer facilitities is to send mail. You can send messages to friends at most major U.S. colleges, and even some foreign ones, such as Hebrew University in Jerusalem. All this is done through the wonderful world of BITNET, an inter-university computer link-up.

The only prerequisite for sending messages to friends at other colleges is knowing their computer address. For example, my friend at Yale, George Hacker's address is YALEVMX\!HACGEOA. To send him a note, all you would need to do is log onto my low-pri account and type MAIL YALEVMX\!HACGEOA return. You simply type the message, and when you get to the end type ctrl D. The message will then be sent on its way.

If any of your friends has sent you a message you will be told that you have mail waiting when you log on. Retrieving messages is easy, just type MAIL, and then type HELP for more info. Two useful commands from within the mail program are H to see the message headers in your mailbox or T to type out a message (the # stands for a message number. I.e.: t2 will type out message number 2).

Even if you haven't established yourself as a low-priority computer user, you can still use one of the newest (and as yet untested by the Happy Hacker) features of the class 5 computer--the Student Employment Office computerized job board.

Once you've logged into Class 5, the computer will ask for your USERNAME. Type JOBS. Also type JOBS return for the password. From there on, just follow the computer's instructions as you learn about exciting job offerings. If you need any additional information, just stop by the SEO in the basement of Byerly Hall.

Another way to use the Harvard system to your advantage is to get free software that is available on Harvard Class 6. There are hundreds of Mac and PC programs that can be copied from the Harvard system onto one of your disks via the Kermit program. For complete details on how to do this, you should read the article in the latest edition of the Harvard Computer Review If you misplaced your copy, more are available in the Science Center director's office.

For a taste of what is available, type FTP HUSC6 return. You will then be asked for a Logname. Type ANONYMOUS return, and you will then by asked for a password. Type your name and return. You can type LS return to get a directory of some of the available programs. To transfer a program onto your computer, follow the directions that come with the Kermit diskette.

A final use for the Harvard system is its multitude of games, from hangman to rogue. From your low-pri account, type PLAY LS return to get a list of available games. Playing any game is simple, just type PLAY gamename return.

As for the Happy Hacker? I've been sending form letters to all my friends at different colleges. With the advanced features of the MAIL command, sending the same letter to hundreds of people across the country is easy. By the way, to send mail to the Happy Hacker, type MAIL RGN@WJH12 return.