A few years ago, a group of feminists at the University of Massachusetts tried to for the school to abandon its nickname, the Minutemen, because it was "sexis."

Call me a misogynist, but I think "Minutepeople" would sound just a little bit stupid. Not to mention the fact that there probably weren't too many rifle-toting females in the Lexington militia.

Minutemen is a good, respectable nickname. It's steeped in tradition and strikes a solid chord of readiness, aggressiveness and danger.

Unfortunately, the Crimson doesn't quite match up. Don't get me wrong--I think crimson is a nice color. A couple of my favorite sweaters are kind of maroonish.

But as a nickname, the Crimson doesn't exactly make rabid opponents cringe.

The other unofficial Harvard nickname, are even worse. The Cantabridgian, which means a person who lives in Cambridge--is downright silly. And I'm not sure I want to be known as one of the Johns--there are unfortunate implications of this age-old euphemism.

But take heart, fellow Crimson, because we aren't even close when it comes to having the stupidest nickname in all of college football. That honor belongs to the vaunted Student Princes of little Heidelberg University.

I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd want to suit up every Saturday as a Student Prince just to have some opposing Panther or Bearcat giggle at me.

The most common nickname in all Division I is the Tigers, followed closely by the Wildcats and the Bulldogs (I always knew those guys at Yale were unoriginal).

Ferocious animals are the most popular source for team nicknames, of course. But there are some interesting motifs in nomenclature that are all but inexplicable.

Take, for example, the wimpy animals. There are some major colleges that have football teams out there with nicknames like the Blue Hens (Delaware), the Gophers (Minnesota), the Ducks (Oregon) and the Beavers (Oregon State).

And then, of course, there is the all-time dumbest animal nickname: the Horned Frogs of Texas Christian University. They used to be called the Horned Toads, but the TCU Administration decided to add a little bit of class and upped the stakes to "Frogs." They forgot to change the school colors, however, and these would-be killer amphibians still suit up in purple, which--and I'm guessing here--isn't really the color of most horned frogs or even horned toads, at least in these here parts.

Another interesting strategy in nicknaming is the you're-always-better-off-with-God-on-your-side motif. Colleges hoping for divine intervention have taken to naming their teams the Battling Bishops (Ohio Wesleyan), and the Cardinals (several teams), and the Saints (St. Lawrence).

On the other side of the field are the hellish nicknames: the Sun Devils (Arizona State), the Blue Devils (Duke), the Delta Devils (Mississippi Valley State) and the Demons (Northwestern State).

Then there are the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest, who have covered themselves by placing bets on both sides of the primeval struggle.