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Take Me Cut to the Numbers Game

The 1985 Elias Baseball Analyst By Seymour Siwoff, Steve Hirdt and Peter Hirdt Collier; 407 pp,; $12.95.

IF SEEING ENOS CABELL'S name in a box score for the first time this year didn't set your heart aflutter, then you probably haven't read any of the Bill James Baseball Abstracts. If you don't know who Enos Cabell is, then you don't want to read any further.

If you're still reading and really don't anything bout Mr. Cabell, strap yourself in a dizzying and perhaps terrifying look at the seamy underside of baseball fanaticism--sabremetrics.

Sabremetrics combines the acronym for the Society for American Baseball Research, "SABRE," with "metrics," the study of numbers. Moreover, sabremetrics is the use of statistical analysis to shed additional light on baseball in an attempt better to comprehend the principles that guide the game.

To be honest If don't like math that much, and the Abstract, though it calls itself a great statistical undertaking, isn't really that at all. The book celebrates baseball and the obsession that some of us have with it, and does it with unusual wit and intelligence.

When Enos Cabell was hot early in the year, you'd ask Sparky Anderson about him and Sparky would say "Enos Cabell is a we ballplayer. You don't hear Enos Cabell saying 'I did this' and 'I did that.'" I think that's what drives me nuts about Sparky Anderson, that he's so full of brown stuff that it doesn't seem like he has nay words left over for a basic fundamental understanding of the game. I want to look as a player on the basis of what, specifically, he can and cannot do to help you win a baseball game, but Sparky's to full of "winners" and Sparky's so full of "winners" and "discipline" and "we ballplayers" and self-consciously asinine theories about baseball that he seems to have no concept of how baseball games are won and loss. I mean, I would never say that it was not important to have a team with a good attitude but Christ, Sparky, there are millions of people in this country who have good attitudes, but there are only about 200 who can play a major-league brand of baseball, so which are you going to take? Sparky is so focused on all the attitude stuff that he looks at an Enos Cabell and he doesn't even see that the man can't play baseball. This we ballplayer, Sparky, can't play first, can't play third, can't hit, can't run and can't throw. So who cares what his attitude is? --Abstract 1963

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That's James at his most self-righteous, assaulting what he sees as gross stupidity in the game James's strength, beyond his consistently sharp writing, is an uncanny ability to share a fresh perspective on a game so often smothered with cliches and not-so-true truisms.

In his latter book, James debunks the motion that you can't tell anything from minor league statistics. He proves conclusively that you can predict, within a reasonable degree of accuracy, how well a rookie is going to hit in the major leagues based on his past performance in AA and AAA.

It's a starting revelation, if it's true--and given James' track record, it probably is.

In fact, the only problem with the Abstract is his remarkable track record. This is the fourth edition that has been marketed nation-wide, and James is starting to run a little low on the scintillating remarks. As he admits at the end, he always wants to tell his readers something they don't already know, and some of us--the James faithful, so to speak--already know an awful lot.

This year's edition dives further into the arcanery of the game and might just have lost a little of the irreverence that characterized earlier editions. The Bill James who once said. "Reitz, as you probably know, is slower than a lot of dead people" and tagged Bob Bailor a "Futility Player" in his player evaluations has grown a little older and little wiser--and maybe a bit duller, too.

But if The New York Times Times bestseller list has taken its toll on America's favorite baseball guru and shackled him with a little more restraint, don't worry: there's plenty left here that's fresh and invigorating.

James remembers when his sixth-grade teacher had a talk with him about wasting time with baseball statistics.

"William," he would say, "you're a bright a enough little kid. "You've got lots of charm and poise, and you're well regarded as a leader around here. You hold your liquor fairly well and haven't wet your pants during school hours all week. So what's this crappola about the baseball statistics?"

Lucky for us, that sixth-grade teacher didn't stop little William from doing what he does better than anyone else Say Hey.

After you spend weeks calling the bookstores, after the Abstract finally arrives and you sit up for 27 hours devouring its every word, it's time to take stock of some the other new arrivals on the baseball shelf t the local bookstore.

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