Comedian Jack Gallagher brought the Mather House Dining Room to hysterics last night. Prancing across the stage in black Pro Ked sneakers Gallagher opened to more than 100 people with. "It's nice to be here at Harvard, it's the only way I'd get here."

Gallagher, who finished third in the Seventh Annual National Comedy Competition and has just returned from an Alabama tour, drew some laughs by comparing northern and southern customs. The latter, he believes, encourages friendliness with supermarkets called Piggly Wiggly." But in the east, he says, things and people are cold. "Eastern stores are called 'Stop and Shop and get the out of here.'"

After bantering with students, Gallagher told of his tireless pursuit for "coolness." His story, punctuated by shrieks and microphone mishaps, ended up with his self-proclaimed lack of poise on public transportation. "The most embarrassing thing is to wake up with your head on a stranger's shoulder... drooling. It's really hard to look cool then."

Gallagher found the crowd most sympathetic when discussing Harvard. He wondered why, with tuition "in the big bucks," the University forced its students to make their own toast. As for experimentation with drugs, the comedian elicited some hearty guffaws with, "After two hits, it was going O.K. until I met the alphabet."

But Gallagher couldn't resist taking a final pot shot at Harvard, quipping. "I hate to break the news to you, but you don't have the reputation for being a hearty-party school."