IMPORTANT LAST MINUTE INPORMATION: You are signed up for at least a semester in sunny Cambridge. Mass. If you had intended to pass the time in New Haven, Providence's or Ithaca, get on the telephone in adequately. If you're already lurking in the Square, waiting to get the good bed, trains leave regularly from South Station.

This article is intended solely for the use of those who will be tooling around in what has frequently been called. "The Ultimate College Town. "Your parents paid a lot of money so you could pay a lot of money for over-priced cocktails and listen to New Wave music this fall. Read the following and make the scene.

Eats

The food here is line It's the trays food on a tray whether at Harvard or elsewhere, inevitably tastes like over-bolted potatoes or reconstituted scrambled eggs. Sometimes it tastes like halibut cheese casserole, and that when it's time to head for the exit.

If near the exit there's a long black car with your initials on the license plates, you may want to instruct Charles to zip you over to Ferdinand's (121 Mt. Auburn St.) or the Harvest (44 Brattle St.), two of the city's more prominent $30 per person eateries. Beware of the stampeding Brahmins and scheming Harvard administrators, both of whom turn up at these spots for lunch.

When the folks visit and demand to "see the sights" you may want to give their credit card a little workout at one of the more exorbitant

Equally tourist-clogged but less

Closer to home, reasonably priced

The Square and surrounding

Roka

Hangouts

You'll immediately want to acquaint yourself with various real-life Harvard student spots--those nirvanas beyond SATs and the public service, where sophisticated undergraduates gather to discuss LSATs and internships.

Cafe Pamnlona, conveniently across from

Elsie's has served River House residents ably for generations. Regretabbly, the place is entering the 21st century with high tech signs, moderately prompt service, and opperssive video games in an adjacent mini-arcade. But everyone must sample the famous TD (Turkey Deluxe), and Elsie's offers a neat breakfast for under $2. The Kennedys allegedly broke from touch football games in front of Winthrop House for snacks and chow-dah at the big E.

Celebrity customers notwithstanding, Tommy's Lunch down the block stands apart from the rest. A cultural Mecca for the Lowell-Adams House axis, the Tomster usually attracts a heady mix of preppies and offspring of third world ruling classes. Don't order anything more than a frappe or a cheesestead, and don't talk to strangers with eye patches.

Junk

Even pretentious people like pizza, and at Bel Canto 928 Mass Ave.) you can ruin a perfectly good mound of grease and tomato sauce with bean sprouts or broccoli. The pies themselfs are exemplary. Other options are all within a couple hundred yards of the Yard. Harvard Pizza and Pinnochio's for quick service, Uno's for a full meal; deep-dish Chicago-style and Regine's for lukewarm cardboard.

Your proctor has already organized a field trip to Steve's Ice Cream in Somerville (191 elm St.). Go sign up; it's worth the walk forthis super-rich, semi-soft delicacy. Emack and Bolio's, relocated on MAss. Ave., prepares an equally competent dish but doesn't mix in the Heath Bars. Cahaly's (47 Mt. Auburn St.) sports a newly enlarged ice-cream disco bar. Baskin and Robbins (541 Mass. Ave.) never adjusted to the new generation competition of homemade ice cream flavors, though the famous 31 still beat the hell out of Brigham's (1420 Mass Ave.) chalky offerings. Bailey's, around on Brattle St., has only the old fashioned cones and sundaes, but boasts the most pleasing atmosphere of all.

No respectable college term paper rolls of the Smith Corona before midnight. Thus, the all-night dive. Store 24 (1438 Mass Ave.) provides everything from soup to nuts for the odd hours gourmand. Fig Newtons are just as delicious as you remember, and Mom's not around to stop you from eating the whole box. Brigham's has sour coffee and bad ice cream. Both used to stay open 24 hours a day. Now they close before 3 a.m. No class.

If you have access to a car, use it to get out to the International House of Pancakes on Soldier's Field Road. A lively crowd gathers by sun-up, and the baby blue decor can't be topped.

Games