Well, we haven't dipped into the old mailbag for a long time now. Let's take a look at some of the more interesting items flooding into 14 Plympton.

Dear BS:

I can't believe those Patriots. They were supposed to be so good and instead they are so bad. What do you think is wrong with them? --Wondering in Winthrop

Dear Wondering:

Obviously you don't understand NFL football. The idea is not to win as many games as you can but to lose as many as you can. That way, you can get the top pick in the college draft and be able to proclaim you team "on the way up, a team of the future." New England is off to a great start.

Dear BS:

I was dating this guy for six years and then yesterday he told me he wants to break up and go out with some other girl. How can he do this to me?   --Lovesick in Leverett

Dear Lovesick:

Because of the Messersmith decision, your paramour is entitled to free agency after six years of service. However, if you are covered by the basic agreement and he is a type-I boyfriend, you may be entitled to compensation. Call Haywood Sullivan at 267-9440 and ask.

Dear BS:

I have heard that Briggs cage will not be ready in time for the 1981-82 Harvard basketball season, and I have a solution. I live less than a mile from Harvard Square and I have a hoop (with a new net) in my driveway. Would the team like to play there until its new home is ready? I can paint a stripe on for the foul line, so let me know.   --A Solution from Somerville

Dear Solution:

I passed your suggestion along to coach Frank McLaughlin and he said he will let you know. He is sifting through offers from a church in Brookline, a playground in Jamaica Plain and an alleyway in Charlestown, but he has your address and he will be around to inspect the site.

Dear BS:

Is there any way you can introduce me to Mike Bass? I read his stories all the time and I would love to meet him, although I'm only a freshman. And will you give him my phone number?   --Melting in Matthews

P.S.--what does he look like?

Dear Melting:

Mike Bass is a former Playgirl centerfold who enjoys surfing and video games. He will be happy to have you call him, and will be available in the Sports Cube Wednesday and Thursday night at the Comp meeting. Free Beer Here.