What can you say about a talented team that is 3-9, like the Harvard women cagers, for instance?

You could say nothing and patiently deflect the question with an embarrassed smile. You could be flippant and write it down to "exam jitters" or "bad calls" or simply "confusion."

You could ask coach Carole Kleinfelder, but if she knew, the cagers might be 9-3. You could also ponder the statistics, but they only offer more confusing contradictions.

For example: the hoopsters' high scorer, high scorer, center Elaine Holpuch, is averaging more than 12 points a game, and has racked up 20 points on four separate occassions this season. Harvard point guards Ann Scannell, Pat Horne, Kate Martin, and Nancy Boutilier play tenacious defense, the best Harvard has possessed in years. Each member of the quartet has compiled more than 20 assists; Horne and Martin together can claim 50 steels.

Yet the cagers are consistently outscored, outshot, and out-rebounded by their opponents.

Maybe the hoopsters just took on too tough a schedule this year and are playing over their heads? Large-margin losses to nationally-ranked Minnesota and Villanova are only to be expected, but most of the hoopster losses are to teams they've played and beaten before: St. Anselms, Bentley College, U. Mass., U.Penn., and Providence College (to whom they succumbed this season in a 40-point shellacking).

No, all things considered, there is something rotten in this state of Denmark, and it is time to ask someone who knows--someone who can give an intelligent, well thought out analysis based on countless viewings, an appreciation and knowledge of the game, wholly unimpaired by such trivial considerations as objectivity--the fans.

Despite its disappointing record, the cagers have something few other teams can claim: a solid core of die-hard, fanatical, never-missed-a-home-game-yet fans. These fans fall roughly into two separate groups--Massachusetts native players' parents, and a motley crew of Winthrop House seniors, who constitute the "regulars" of the women's hoop crowds.

This intense group, which comes together in the spirit of women's basketball despite their varied and occassionally dubious underlying motives, proved to be quite articulate and eager to share their season-to-date analyses. The following was recorded at a dinner conversation with two of the devotees, football player, Chuck Marshall '81 and resident German expert Danny Goldhagen '81.

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Marshall: To begin with, I think the team has really improved over just the last three games. Last night against St. Anselm's they played the best they have all year. The coaching has been improving, and the team along with it. However, I still feel there is too much substituting going on. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, and it only destroys the confidence of the players knowing they'll be taken out any minute. You never see that in a men's game.

Goldhagen: There has been a different starting line-up in every game so far. The coach has people out there who aren't getting the job done, and I think all this subbing is based on frustration, not game-winning strategy. It's important to let everyone play, especially during a rebuilding year--this is a young team, after all--but you never establish any kind of a rhythm by continually juggling players.

Marshall: A classic case of this is (forward) Marget Long. Long doesn't even dress for two games, then goes in and starts the next one.

Goldhagen: Another thing the team needs is more front-row strength. (Elaine) Holpuch is the only "big" person out there, and she can't do all the inside shooting by herself. Janet Judge is only a freshman, but has shown the potential and can start easing some of the burden off Elaine.

Marshall: What I see more than anything is that players are stuck in their certain roles and can't get out of them; if you're a guard, you have to bring the ball down, if you're a forward you have to shoot, and this kind of thinking severely limits the team. Basketball is often spontaneous. It has to be; it's such a fast moving game you need to get out of your role sometimes and do what you're not supposed to do to make a good play. Basketball should be instinctive, like second nature, and not all pre-planned. How many times I've watched a forward bring the ball up to half court, have a free line to the basket, and instead of driving in will turn around and pass the ball 20 feet backwards to a guard because the guard is "supposed" to bring the ball in.