Let's face it: on paper the Rams are doomed. To call the Pittsburgh Steelers favorites to win Sunday's Super Bowl is like naming the Soviet Union the odds-on choice to cruise over Afghanistan.

Fashionably clad in black and gold and playing out of the "City of Champions," the Steelers are the proud owners of the NFL's number-one offense, number-two defense, and number-28 draft choice.

Co-holders of the league's best record (12-4, tied with San Diego), and possessing firsts in almost every conceivable category (first in the league in yards gained on first down, for instance), the self-proclaimed "Team of the Decade" appears only days away from its record-breaking fourth Super Bowl win.

It seems crazy that the league office has decided to wait until after the game to hand out the championship rings, but there is a method to their madness. The contest will not be played on paper, but in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif., a mere Sunday's drive from L.A. All four Steeler losses this year (were there really that many?) took place on natural grass, and the Pasadena turf is as real as a Jack Ham tackle. And, lest we forget, this is a new decade. Do I hear the far-off sound of Afghan guerillas?

Dewey Defeats Truman

For, despite what you may have heard, the Los Angeles Rams will be very much in the game on Sunday. I know all about the juggernaut. I've seen the stats, and I even like Mean Joe Greene's commercial. I still say it will be close.

Here's why: first, defense. Los Angeles's defense against the run was third best in the NFC. And if you start moaning about the difference in conferences, I'll throw in the fact that the Rams allowed fewer yards per game in the air than Pittsburgh.

That's right. And did you know that the Steelers led the NFL in turnovers with 52? That's eight more than any other team in their conference--and 25 of them came on interceptions of Terry Bradshaw passes. Bradshaw's total was only one behind the league high.

The Steelers are not invincible. Ask San Diego, Houston, Philadelphia and Cincinnati, and they'll tell you it can be done--with a superb defense, a deep threat and the ability to convert their mistakes into your touchdowns.

Most important, these Rams are not the same team that stumbled to a 9-7 regular season record, the worst of any playoff team. They have won six of their last seven games, including impressive playoff wins over Dallas and Tampa Bay (okay, they didn't score a touchdown, but they gained 369 yards against football's stingiest defense) that earned them a spot in Sunday's game.

No Names

I'll admit that no names of Bradshaw's or Greene's caliber dot the L.A. roster, but the Ram secondary of Rod Perry, Pat Thomas, Nolan Cromwell and Dave Elmendorf is the best anywhere. The front four sacked opposing quarterbacks 52 times--second in the league this year. Wendall Tyler gained only 50 yards less than Franco Harris, and averaged almost a yard more per carry.

Besides, if the Bengals can do it...

Not that a Ram victory is probable. Man-for-man, it's the Steelers in a rout, and if things are close, there's Chuck Noll. But the prediction here is for a much tighter game that most people think--well within the 11-point spread.

Beat People

And the Rams just might pull it off. They're hungry: after all those almosts they can taste the title. Plus, it's their last chance to do it as the L.A. Rams (next year they travel down the road to Anaheim). Pittsburgh's just a wee bit complacent--after all, Houston came within one instant replay of ambushing the champs.

They may be only the eighth-strongest team in the NFL, but it's the Rams playing Sunday; San Diego, Houston, Dallas, Philadelphia, Miami and New England aren't. Somehow, through all of the turmoil surrounding owner Carroll Rosenbloom's death, through all of the injuries and the sub-par games the team has survived to play another day. As Confucius would say, "That adds up to close game."

And after all, in Chinese mythology, 1979 is the Year of the Ram.