THE PHONE RANG in the bullpen.

"Hello?"

"Scheft?"

"Yeah."

"Are you loose?"

"I guess so. That women's basketball game last week didn't give me much of a problem."

"You got a tux?"

"Yeah. I got one."

"You ever review theater before?"

"Well, I've covered men's hockey all winter. I guess that would qualify as Theater of the Absurd."

"Good. Get in there and handle the Pudding show."

*****

Yeah, I was there. Mr. First Nighter. Masquerading as Army Archer but feeling like George Archer. Walking in the footsteps of Rex Reed but as out of place as Willis Reed.

And though I've always hated champagne, everyone was wearing real bow ties, and I kept calling the 80-page program a "scorecard," I did, as I always have, know how to laugh. Amidst all my discomfort, laughter once again came to my rescue.

What inspired the laughter was the opening night performance of HPT 131, Overtures in Asia Minor, a show that relies on the adage that if you attempt humor as often as possible, you will succeed often enough to make the production a clever piece of entertainment.