I'm depressed. For one thing, I saw the weirdest thing I've seen in four years of avid Harvard sports spectating this afternoon at the Heptagonal cross country meet in New York. For another, I saw the second weirdest thing in the closing seconds of last week's football game.

And just for kicks, consider the fact that my career predicting percentage has fallen dangerously close to the .600 level (42-26, .617). So to cheer myself, I decided that I wanted Christmas to come early this year, and I've decided to ask Santa Claus for the following gifts.

Dear Santa:

Just once, I'd like to see Ralph Polillio break a kickoff return all the way.

Just once, I'd like to see Larry Brown have a 500-yd. passing day.

Just once, I'd like to see Fred Cordova show us what he's made of and take an interception all the way for a TD.

Just once, I'd like to see Paul Sablock put on a John Mackey suit and have a 10-catch afternoon.

Just once, I'd like to see Matt Granger run the ball 15 times a game.

Just once, I'd like to see a Harvard football game with no illegal motion penalties.

Just once, I'd like to see Gary Bosnic pop one from the 50.

Just once, I'd like to see Brian Buckley get in a game (i.e., it would be nice if Harvard blew someone out.)

Just once, I'd like to see Harvard beat Brown, 45-26.

Oh, you say that happened three years ago, when I was a freshman? Well, just twice, I'd like to see Harvard beat Brown, 45-26.

P.S. I'd also like a Mercedes Benz with air conditioning and a tape deck.

*****