Tomorrow's football game at Penn presents something of a new twist on the age-old Philadelphia joke: Q: What's worse than a free trip to Philadelphia with the Ivy League title at stake? A: A free trip to Philadelphia without the title at stake.

That's about the way things stand as the Crimson (3-3-1, 1-3-1 league) take on the Quakers (2-4-1, 1-3-1 league) on lovely, astroturfed Franklin Field tomorrow afternoon in a battle of Ivy cellar-dwellers.

The outcome of the game is about as easy to predict as the King-Dukakis primary. The wishbone-based Quakers play very. very well on their familiar rug, having beaten Lehigh and Columbia and tied Yale. The Crimson, on the other hand, has a personality schizophrenic enough to qualify for some psychology textbooks.

"It's frustrating, not having a legitimate shot at the title," Harvard captain Steve Potysman said last night. "I think we've had an excellent effort every game, and I feel that we're as good as any team in the league."

And indeed, 14 points in just the right places would make the 3-3-1 perfect at 7-0 for the year.

But team stats show that Harvard has some serious weaknesses. The defense ranks last in the Ivies against the pass, second last against the rush, last in overall yardage (375 per game) and last in scoring (16 touchdowns).

The inspired play of the all-sophomore left side of the defensive line--tackle Chuck Durst and end Marko Coric--has been just about the lone bright spot for a defensive unit that has consistently given up three or four touchdowns a game.

Penn's defense does not rank much higher, having given up 360 yards a game and 13 touchdowns in five Ivy contests. And while the Penn offense ranks last in the league (260 yards per game), the Wishbone can steamroll if the opposition's stacked line has any cracks in it.

Senior fullback Denis Grosvenor should be the Quaker to watch. Averaging 4.5 yards a poke this year, Grosvenor needs just 108 yards to pass Jack Wixted as Penn's second-place career rusher.

QB Tom Roland can scoot with the ball, too (he may go over 1000 yards tomorrow), although his passing game is suspect.

As for the Harvard offense, it will once again be the Larry Brown-and-Ralph Pollillio show, as the senior quarterback and halfback lead the explosive Crimson offense.

"We could just as easily be 7-0, and the fact that we aren't is really a shame," Potysman said last night. "Right now, we're just going to go out and try to win the last two and call it a year."