Wondering where I've been? No? Well, I'll tell you anyway.

It's strange how if you put down the old typewriter for a little while your eyes and ears open up a little more. Spring seems to bring out the best and more often than not the strangest in people's athletic behavior. Oh the things I've seen...

Seen in Quincy House: Ron Sen, staying in shape by doing ten pushups for every inning the Red Sox don't score. Ron says "it helps you to suffer along with the team." One good look at the Sox this year and you know that Ron is one suffering young man.

Seen at Suffolk Downs: Tom Aronson collecting another hundred or so dollars thanks to those meal tickets with four legs. It seems that the former Crimson sports editor definitely has something better to do with his time now that hockey season is over.

Seen at Phillips Academy, Andover: The Radcliffe softball team winning its first game of the season on Wednesday, 13-11, over the youngsters in blue. Talk about errors! These teams made more turnovers than Pepperidge Farm on a good day. The Radcliffe coach says his team needs "better pitching to stay competitive." Fielding, hitting, baserunning and smarts wouldn't hurt so much either.

Seen at 60 Boylston St.: Athletic Director Robert Watson cleaning out his desk, apparently thinking his job is finished. I guess he didn't get any of my phone calls threatening a bomb scare in the IAB if Harvard doesn't come up with a better basketball court by next season.

Jim Reinig's Quiz-in-Rhyme

The grandnephew of old Papa Bear,

He plays his sport as well

As baseball when the leaves turn green

For Loyal Park's clientele.

Seen somewhere in Minnesota: An All-American high school hockey goalie named Constantine receiving a phone call from Ken Dryden asking him to forget about Harvard and Dartmouth and come on over to Cornell to play hockey for four years.

Seen in Dillon Field House: Hockey coach Billy Cleary working on his Teddy Kennedy imitation before he calls the kid Constantine in Minnesota.

Seen in the Fenway Park bleachers: Ten- and 11-year-old kids smoking cigarettes as the Red Sox lose another one. I'm having trouble deciding which disgusts me more.

Seen on Channel Four: Sidney Wicks and Curtis Rowe doing very poor imitations of Paul Silas as the Celtics scramble to keep their pride against the Seventy-Sixers. I've got news for you Tommy Heinsohn--you're not gonna beat the Anaheim Amigos in playoff competition if you've got a couple of guys playing half the court half the time for you.

Not seen on Soldiers Field: The curveball of freshman pitching sensation Ron Stewart. It drops out of sight just that fast.

Seen in my dreams at night: Tim Davenport throwing touchdown passes to Jim Curry in every game except against Columbia next year.

Seen at Yale University: The entire student body giggling and pointing towards Cambridge after their team's upset wins in men's lacrosse and tennis, and the shutout of Radcliffe tennis. If the baseball team doesn't come through when the Elis come up here in two weeks I think I'll be joining Ron Sen for some pushups. Until then, call me if you're doing anything but studying.

(Quiz answer: Paul Halas).