So you're sick of irrelevant things on the sports page? Well, tough darts, pal. Why don't you unglue that Morrison & Boyd from your hand for a minute and feast your peepers on the most pointless test of knowledge you're probably ever going to face here at the Big H.

Hey, we're serious about this thing. This is a contest, with entries and winners and prizes and all. If you still have all those real tough 45s you used to spin every afternoon after school, then you better go get 'em. This isn't Fonzie-Fifties stuff, but Solid Gold Sixties and very early Seventies vinyl; the notes that used to make you park your carcass in front of the idiot box when Shindig came on.

There are 105 questions involved here, tune teasers of the first degree. Answer as many as you can, stick it in an envelope marked "Sports Cube Disc Frisk" and deliver it to 14 Plympton St. by 5 p.m. Sunday. Winners will be announced next week, and will receive a prize box including a Pez dispenser and refills, a Zagnut candy bar, a copy of "I Think We're Alone Now" [by you-know-who] and other assorted gifts.

Remember--This is for real. Take a few minutes and cruise on in. Twenty to 30 correct answers will probably put you at the head of the class. So get the lead out [a pencil] and sit down. This is your life.