'There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe.--President Ford

"I'm pretty sure that this is the best team we've put on the field in [my] three years."   --George Ford, Harvard soccer coach

George and Jerry Ford both came in with a bang in the autumn of 1974. In Washington, with the advent of a new president, our long national nightmare seemed over; and in Cambridge, the Crimson soccer team made it to the NCAA playoffs under a new coach. Two years later, both new guys are committing gaffes and floundering in their respective standings.

Okay, so my tongue's in my cheek and I'm having a little fun with George Ford--he's not nearly as bad as the Ford in the White House. The fact remains, however, that his team, at 2-6, is running like an Edsel. Moreover, the credibility of Ford's explanations for the team's weak record is not much higher than that of a used car salesman's pitches.

Heading into today's game against Princeton (1-2 in the Ivies, 5-4 overall), Ford continues to spew out the same old stump speeches explaining the team's bad fortunes that he has used throughout the Crimson's dismal fall campaign.

"I think we've played well enough to win some games," Ford said Thursday. One can almost imagine the faint outline of a tarnished "WIN" button pressing against the lapel of his sport coat from an inside pocket.

"In my first year, we had the ball bounce our way a lot," Ford added. "But this year it's gone the other way. We've had some breaks, but we haven't capitalized on them." Right, And more people are employed now than ever before, and we are at peace, and the economy is recovering.

The point is, we've heard it all before; a little straight talk is in order. Six losses cannot be explained as the simple result of a few bad bounces. Rhode Island, 2, Harvard, 0; Weslyan, 2, Harvard, 1; Cornell, 2, Harvard, 0; Amherst, 5, Harvard, 1; Dartmouth, 3, Harvard, 2; B.U., 1, Harvard, 0. Something, the record clearly shows, is wrong.

With its engine sputtering, Ford's 11-man machine approaches what amounts to a crossroads at Princeton today. A win would even the Crimson's Ivy record at 2-2 and put it on the road to respectability. A loss would send the 1976 Harvard soccer team to the junkyard.

But Princeton will be no easy whistle-stop for the booters. Coming off one-goal losses to powerhouses Cornell and Brown, the Tigers should be lusting for a victory. And while Princeton coach Bill Muse has been known to commit a gaffe or two himself, he's got a pretty strong team to back him up this year.

Goalies Sergio Zeballos and Guy Cipriano (who recently recorded a pair of consecutive shutouts) spearhead a strong Tiger defense. Junior fullbacks Mike Gummerson, Peter Kellogg and Frank Sharry are returnees from last year's tough defensive unit.

If anyone charges that the Tigers have a lack of dynamic offensive leadership, Muse need only point to junior forward Paul Milone, who has already notched seven goals this fall. He is supported on the front line by veterans Allan Marshall and Tom Beaton, and a talented group of freshmen headed by Dave Maldonado.

Nevertheless, Ford remains optimistic. "If we can combine the enthusiasm we showed at Dartmouth and the ability we showed against B.U., we should have a good game," he said. "We're looking for a win under our belts before Brown."

So may be the Crimson will upset the Tigers today and shift their slow-moving fall campaign from low into high gear. And why not? I hear that George Gallup will be out of town--in Virginia or someplace--and besides, the result of any given Ivy League soccer game is no more predictable than was the 1948 presidential election.

It's awfully hard to shift an Edsel, though, and George Ford has but a few weeks to spark life into what has been a lackluster season thus far.