THE FINAL AWAKENING came when I "snorted" a good sized pinch of heroin. Up to that point, I had, at one time or another, smoked pot, tried LSD, Psylocybin, Mescaline, Dexadrine, Alcohol, and so on ad infinitum. Being head of a drug education group and of reasonable sound mind and body, my motivation was curiousity of a most unmorbid sort--but each new experience left me with the same anti-climax. They were all interesting in one way or another, but nothing to write a book about. And now, preparing a drug education booklet on heroin, I figured it was time for the acid test. In no way was I going to subject readers to third-hand medicinal accounts or wailing dramaturgy from a pet addict from the local half-way therapeutic community.

It was a pleasant four hours. Good for minor to major relaxation, superb for the dentist's office. But the killer drug? Not unless you would consider a goosedown pillow, self-administered, to be a serious threat to your mind or body.

My first reaction was to call up the mass media and send the news over the wires: EXTRA EXTRA HEROIN RELATIVELY HARMLESS TO IMMENSE MAJORITY OF POPULATION. And then the full irony of it hit. Here I was, a nationally reputable drug expert, praised by physicians and adolescents alike for accuracy and honesty, with a company due for a half-million in sales of drug education to the Army, Navy and schools throughout the country, waking up to the fact that I too, like hundreds of millions of Americans, had been shamelessly duped by a few hundred thousand very vocal and very confused drug users.

There is no drug problem; at least, nothing worse than we have had throughout history. There is indeed a drug panic, but it bears a close resemblance to "Bung" Karno's war against Borneo; the pent-up aggression of a frustrated people in search of an enemy more tangible than their own frustrations. Now, when I am asked about the advisability of having a "real drug addict" talk about his tribulations, I add that, to be fair, they really ought to have a child molester along to give a paean on the desirability of five-year-old girls. The grand majority of the physicians are literally too frightened to try heroin, and the total majority of the addicts have a terribly real stock in the maintenance of the myth of the killer drug. After all, we're spending a couple of billion dollars to maintain, support, job--train and half--way house a tiny minority of individuals whose main occupation is the totally selfish business of hiding from a world which sure, isn't great, but sure isn't all that bad.

Dr. Norman Zinberg came back from Vietnam last year after looking over the problem. He, may he be blessed for his bravery, actually tried heroin while he was there. "I was surprised," he remarked "at how fast four hours went by." A great boredome cure, for sure.

There are two main reasons for drug use: the seeking of pleasure, and the avoidance of pain. Those who are of the pleasure-seeking type often find that there are drugs which are, indeed, pleasurable and may use them, casually, often or not. Those of the pain-avoiding category clasp their latest savior to their bosoms with a desperate grip, be it heroin, alcohol, or evangelical Christianity. The latter generally choose alcohol, because it is cheap and plentiful, and with the figures topping six million, alcoholics are indeed plentiful in our society. There will always be a small minority who will seek a savior in a bottle or a pill; but the world they run from is the same we all live in; their terrors are self-constructed. They, and we, have more to fear from fear itself than any drug man can or will discover.

There will be two groups opposed to this diatribe; the addicts, and those who have chosen them as their "who to help" cause. As for the first, what they know about is how to use drugs all the time, a subject few would be that interested in. As for the latter, I too watched the war against drugs for quite a while before I realized that it was as pointless as the war against the Vietnamese.

There never was a war. It's just that we seem to think that we're saving something by fighting something else. And as for the billions spent, the free enterprise system has always insisted that if you don't pay for it, it's not worth it. So let's all drink(toko, drop) to the war against drugs; we haven't had such bracing good scare and concomitant national solidary since we all believed the last domino was going to fall on Los Angeles and we marched off to save South Vietnam from the Chinese Communists.

Laurence O. McKinney '66 is head of The of a Hud-funded project to test urban education company based in Cambridge.