Dartmouth weekend has always made me queasy. It has always ended unhappily, leaving me drinking myself into insensibility over another football loss at a party I didn't want to go to, retching liquor I didn't want to drink in some bathroom I didn't want to remember. It has been like that ever since I have been here. It is not a pleasant memory.

I came close the last two years to escaping the inglorious fate of drinking away football losses. Two years ago, a cocky sophomore, Jimmy Stoeckel, started against the Big Green and almost brought Harvard a victory over the Hanover marauders with some unheard of passing heroics. But fate willed that one away in the last seconds, and a Ted Perry field goal sent me to the cooler again, 16-13.

Last year I almost escaped the inglorious embarrassment of waking up Sunday morning smelling of stale vomit and strange bathrooms. Harvard came closer, fumbling its way to a 21-21 tie on regional TV. But it wasn't enough to seem like a real change from losing to the Greenies.

This year could change the trend. I haven't even gone out for Alka-Seltzer for the Sunday morning aftermath. And from the way things have been going this year in the Ivy League, the time seems ripe for a new script.

Dartmouth has lost three out of four games this year. Harvard has won four out of four. Dartmouth is nursing important injuries. Harvard is injury free. Dartmouth has gotten by on reputation for two years too many in the H-D game. Harvard has not.

The Picks:

HARVARD-DARTMOUTH--The Crimson has been waiting for this one. So have Harvard alumni. Usually reliable sources say Crimson coach Joe Restic has been getting letters directing him to leave the first stringers in "no matter what the time, no matter what the score." Restic isn't likely to do that, but if the Crimson scores quickly, there may be no way to hold the Harvard boys down. Dartmouth isn't as bad as many of us would hope, but this is the year. Harvard 20, Dartmouth 10.

CORNELL-YALE--The Big Red is still smarting from the slapping around Harvard gave Cornell last week. Yale clobbered a pathetic Columbia squad. Should be a match between two brutal ground attacks, for Cornell has the better defense and a quarterback named Allen. Cornell 28, Yale 21.

PRINCETON-PENN--The Tigers (much to my chagrin) found some offense last week, while Penn put down a gutty Lehigh team. This could be closer than it should be. Adolphe Bellizeare should run rampant again, though, and that should be the difference. Beep. Beep. Penn 24, Princeton 17.

COLUMBIA-RUTGERS--Columbia played up to par against Yale. It lost. Rutgers is a very nasty outfit this fall. With a little luck, it could be embarrassing before it's over. Rutgers will prove the Lion win over Princeton was a fluke. Rutgers 31, Columbia 12.

CRIMSON-DARTMOUTH--The Hanover daily will regret getting up at 9:30 a.m. to be embarrassed. The Crime rolls on and on. Crimson 23-Dartmouth 2.

Last week: Two for five (.400) Oh God. Season: 11 for 23 (.435) Relapse.