Since I always will be able to write another column but never be able to make any more predictions, let me exhaust the soothsayer in me by pointing out what will happen to next year's football team:

Joe Restic will return as varsity coach and will introduce a new offensive playbook which emphasizes multiple sets, backs in motion, shifts, and a wideopen attack that will be a forerunner of football in the year 2000.

John Yovicsin will return as head of the Physical Education Program. Yovicsin will emphasize a conservative program that centers on moving slowly but consistently over the ground and avoids mistakes. He will concentrate on sweeping the end to physical deficits out the door and offering a new slant play to tackle holes in the opposition.

Next year's Harvard captain will be described by Joe Concannon in the Globe and Bob Monahan in the Traveller as a good kid with a lot of guts, intelligent, devoted to the team, a natural leader, a strong model for others, and the personality of Gil Thorpe. His picture will also appear in blurred red, blue, and green in both papers.

Although neither Harvard nor Yale will be ranked in the top ten of the nation, next year's Harvard-Yale Game will be referred to in New England as "The Game". Local writers will say that for some unexplainable reason this game means more than just winning and losing, and one of the members of the varsity will say this is the most important game of the season.

The Harvard Crimson will rally from an early two-point deficit to defeat the Yalie Dailie, 23-2.

The Crimson sports editor will call the Athletic Department and find Floyd Wilson stepping out for a minute. Bob Watson in conference. Baaron Pittenger gone for the day, and Eric Cutler on another line.

Freshman Pat McInally will make people forget that Pete Varney ever played end.

It was tough to watch Dartmouth beat Cornell last Saturday. It was especially tough for Harvard fans because it meant that the Crimson could have won every one of its Ivy contests. It might be nice if Cornell, Dartmouth, and Columbia lost today to put Harvard just one game out of first place. Don't bet your peanuts on it. Dartmouth, a team that seemed destined for mediocrity this fall, will back into its perennial image as Ivy champ.

CORNELL--PENN--The Big Red seems to be the best team in the Ivy League, but that doesn't have anything to do with winning consistently this fall. Here we apply the theory of falling expectations: Cornell will be wondering what's wrong if it doesn't get a first down the firest time it has the ball. Penn will know what's wrong with the Quakers (they're lousy) and will go right ahead trying desperately to win. While the Big Red wonders how mediocre it is, Penn will prove how mediocre it is. Quakers, 21-17.

DARTMOUTH--PRINCETON--Princeton is the best team in the Ivy League at the moment. Unfortunately, against Yale last week, they proved that it will always be the second best team in Palmer Stadium. After the game, the Tigers may offer to permanently play their contests away. Dartmouth has confidence in its offense and will roll to the tune of 24-10.

COLUMBIA--BROWN--This used to be the most frightening game on both team's schedules. The opponents were usually both winless and whoever lost this match had to bury its head in the Ivy League dung. Now, to and behold, the Lions have advanced to upper-middle mediocrity. What a way to end a season. Columbia will go out loving it, and the fans will remember the team of '71 that put football back on the New York City collegiate map. Lions, 32-14.

HARVARD--YALE--Rumor has it that Restic sat down this last week and wrote a long book on all the failures of this season. It it he included all kinds of wrong plays, wrong shifts, wrong backs in motions, wrong defensive alignments, and the game plans Harvard used in its four losing efforts. Restic gave the book to each player last night and now they can't remember it.

You have to throw out the factors of emotion, excitement, and determination that make it "The Game" because they balance on both sides. You can throw out talent because both teams have proven that they don't have enough to blow the other squad out of the stadium.

In the past three years we've been treated to two thrilling victories that made you forget about the records of the teams and one deadly dull victory that made you ignore the records of the teams. Although I won't admit it in the stands, here's hoping for a last minute thriller. Harvard will prevail, 14-10, or maybe 14-12 depending on which quarterback Restic goes with in the final minutes.