1. Dedication

To friends on the far marge, and the memory of Herman Melville.

2. Historical voyage

Harkening to the whisper of the sea wind in the rigging of his Berkshire cabin, Herman seized his quill, scrunched his watery-blue trippy oceanic eyes, put the tip of his beard in his mouth and wrote: "Woe to him that seeks to please rather than to appall!" over and over he wrote down one piece of foolscap right after another.

Alas, Herman might as well have saved his ink, for the previous year the first nugget had been found in California, the first great rushes had been speeding through hearts and minds across the land, and Herman's malediction was even then being giggled at by the first of the fabulous western folk.

3. At play two dogs

Way down. A good hundred feet beneath the window draped with diaphanous curtains from Sears and a tinkle with bells and a clang with canary cage, way down there on sand glowing with the earth's vital light, there way down there on the beach by water reflecting the sky's gray goodness, two eyebrows on the face of the world, two commas in the single great sentence which contains all of our fates, played.

And played.

And played.

For Girl this was a home game, her turf, and she showed the way, back arching as she plunged into the surf. No beach bunny our Girl, she would never be condemned to sit with the transistor and stuff on the shore while He the Eternal Blond One went on oddysseys. No captain's widow Girl, scanning the sea for sight of his erect from gliding in from time to time. No idle searching long strands pulled forward for split ends, oh no not her. Girl, a surfer-queen herself who went where mortals feared to go, a jolly Loch Nesser showing the visiting team all the joys of the western floodtide.

Alfred sat panting, watching her, anxious eyebrows raised. Bug-eyed with terror at the crashing on before him. Afraid. Leery. Poor Alfred, he was a doubt-bound eastern mutt, so apprehensive. And smaller than Girl. Eensy teensy on the beach below.

4. The current scene

Merilee, she

Watched.

Over.

Them.

And peace resided in her heart.

The eye in the sky watched over the canine children at play. Eye am watching the keeds play in the ocean. I. Merilee the shipmate and the helpmeet.

Alyosha, the wise author and purveyor of this luscious moment, says, THE WORK ADAY WAY TO ONENESS IS SIMPLICITY ?SELF. SAY WHAT YOU DO AS YOU DO IT AND KNOW IT'S TRUE.

Works like this: I am in my house. I am watching the keeds play on the beach. I am watching Alfred watch Girl go horsing around for joy in the cold Pacific swells. I want Alfred to be renamed Boy if he is going to be Girl's boy. For symmetry I foster. There is a reason he can't be renamed which I don't remember right now. But I will remember some time which means it's all OK.

My name is Merilee. My last name is-I can't remember so I can't go outside yet but my middle name I know is Anne. And sometime soon I will recall my other name and then I can go to the store because I am very hungry.

We are very hungry?

I do not know about this we. I know I and that's enough for now. Twenty-three years of struggle and suffering to know so much. Renfro. Merilee Anne Renfro, 262 Eucalyptus Way, South San Angel, Calif. 353-0101. I am eight and I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. Always have though. Or men in cars with candy.

On the outer edge of her bed by the window overlooking the sea there was a nude body. Coming between Merliee and the food. Many things come between Merilee and Food. Putting on a clothes does. Driving the car does. Shopping cart does. Hassle does. Does do. Money do.

Black curls, the heavy head of Samson lying on big pink marble arms. He stares at the dead white wall nine long inches away.

I am Merilee I know, but who is this? Sorrow? Mountain, rock, hill, valley, breathing thing, pulsating along on his theta waves.

5. Assurances. Now we are six revisited

Don't be afraid Merilee. The worst you could have done is open yourself to this man and let him come inside.

I am not afraid. In Tulsa Dad worked on a derrick and when he came home he was covered with black oil. His hands. Did he know who I was? Did Dad know Merilee had set up house in the shower stall behind the shower curtain in the bathroom? To his wife Ada he said "One more crack like that and as sure as your ass is brown this boy is gone gone gone."

Ada made a crack. Now forgotten.

And did Dad follow Alyosha's Rule for Everyday Oneness? Did he say to himself "Now I am walking out on Ada and my little Merilee forever. Now I commend my Merilee to God or whoever Ada can dig up to be her father. Now I am seeing the last of my only keed." ??? Now my prick is black. Grease did that.

6. Flip forward

Body, thing, white mountain lying in the way of food. Breathing, taking up air and space in Merilee's place. Swayback oh yes and I remember a hard ?aut tummy down there underneath and a nail blam blam lovely one and stubby thighs, trunks of trees, white elephant thighs. "Sure as your ass is brown," she said, butting her nose at the hard bone where his bottom began, and then she kissed kissed kissed there lightly, a sparrow pecking.

"Please lady! I got termites."

Who has termites Merilee? Trees and houses do. There's a state law against them, Ada would say. "But who are you?" Merilee asked the man.