( The author studied English at Iowa and now lives in Boston. )

ONCE there was a University, in the Midwest, so well organized, smoothly operated and rigidly controlled, that the Authorized National Academic Limelighter on Campus, "The Scribbler's Club," was unable to find a Fault for correction or a Correction to Fault. Club Members, though deeply shamed by the notorious Obscurity of their staid University, were helpless to bring Fame.

Great Obscurity was a mere By product of a wonderful, computer regulated System of Organization whose construction had been superintended by Pallas, Goddess of Wisdom. She wished especially to favor the Wise Teachers who ruled here. And they, to honour Her, named the System "Crystal." Crystal, because it looked after time-wasting administrative Functions, left the Wise Teachers free to advise scholarly Publications of student Problems. Advising Students was a Problem for the Computer.

Programmed by Pallas with special Formulae, Crystal resolved even the most Delicate and Naive from among student Life's many Complications. A Compassion Formula, for example, pulled Variants of the Word "sorry" from an international Thesaurus, compared them with Extracts from the University's Book of Rules, and, depending on particular Circumstance, computed a proper Consolation.

The Same was achieved for the Word "discipline."

When all the Distresses of student Life had been successfully reduced to Variants of these two Words, a new program Card was introduced. Depending which End of this Card, punched to outline the Shape of a Crocodile with a Bludgeon Tail, fed first into the Computer, an answer hummed back appropriate to the desired Response. Organization was thus considerably further streamlined.

Had not a Quarrel arisen between Pallas, and Jove, respecting the Force of a particular. One of his mighty Thunderbolts, the University might have continued Obscure Forever. BUT the angered Jove seized-up the disputed Bolt and hurled it with great Spite into the University's Computer Central, causing a vast Short-circuit.

The Scribbler's Club voted in a Flash to become outraged Supporters of smooth Operations, modern Systems, and rigid Control. They loudly protested a perfidious and entirely unjustified Stroke of Nature. They ranted, they raved, they marched and they sat until the once Obscure became so Prominent the Wise Teachers were hard pressed to disregard completely the voluble Protestations raining down from every Side and Top and Bottom.

JUST at this critical Point, the Mentor and Chief Ally of the Scribbler's Club, identifying Label sewn over the bright yellow Lining of his turned Coat of Office, conferred with the Membership. The Mentor advised, his suggestive little Beard jiggling, seizure of the Domed Citadel, residence in the City named like the State of the Wise Teachers. From the Crest of Campus Hill, it overlooked a surrounding Plain. And here! exalted this Junior Professor, his little Beard suggesting, here! was a glorious Symbol for their ever-burgeoning Protest and loud Remonstration.

BANZAI! agreed seventy-three lusty voices. They started at once to storm up the wide-sloping Lawn fronting the Citadel.

"Halten Sie! young Clowns!" the Mentor loudly advised, bringing the Group to a speedy stop. "Let us not," he went on, waving an Arm at the Top of the Hill, "storm this Symbol of our noble Cause like so many Son's of Whores and a d-mned Rabble!, We," he continued, puffing out his Label, little Beard suggesting, "can do this thing in the grand Style. Don't storm on Foot! I'll supply a thundering Herd of wide-winged Pegesi upon which we can fly against the Citadel like an avenging Horde! And my way, at the least," he added for emphasis to the stunned Membership, "if we get no Cause in our Bag, we'll be left some Feathers in our Caps!"

Loud Roars of Opprobrium concluded the Mentor's Counsel and the Group quickly voted to follow after him to where the promised mounts were stabled.

It should be explained of the Mounts in question that a Colony world-renowned for its agricultural Expertise resided in this Sector of the Country. In fulfillment of its Passion for Novelty, Change, and Variation in Produce and Animal Husbandry, this Colony had brought Nature to her Knees. Kneeling Nature was forced by cruel and often desperate Means continually to conceive new, and yet more bizarre Progeny: Nectarines or Peas without Pods, seedless Watermelons or Corns without Cobs, fatter Cows and Porkier Pigs, plumper Chickens and more caged Cocks...

Farmer Diskord, the Richest and most Influential of the Agriculturalists, consented, after much urging, to loan his best Stud, Hybrid, to the Colony's Central Experimental Station. Hybrid was First, Foremost, the most prized of all the Colony's prize Studs. His special Characteristic was that he was never the exact same Creature on two successive Days. But was found always to be a Variation, or a Departure, from the Day just preceding.

Hybrid, on the Day he arrived at the Experimental Station, though filled with a gust of evolutionary Passion, and a Dose of Spanish Fly: was blind, like a Bat, and clumsy as an Ox. But so was he let into the Bower of ever-kneeling Nature. And so came Nature to pass - pushing away Hybrid with a Rumble of Discontent - a fullgrown Flarb into the Hands of the astounded Agriculturalists.