As 'Cliffies shed their ear muffs this spring, they will expose themselves to a dread disease which has become an annual epidemic in Radcliffe yard. The illness causes a temporary insanity, an overwhelming urge to mutilate one's own body. Girls usually satisfy this masochistic drive by puncturing the lobes of both their ears.

Most susceptible always are the freshmen, whose ears have thus far maintained their virginity. The disease, however, is so contagious it even affects upper classmen, who fancied themselves immune after years of exposure. The saving grace is that, like German measles or suicide, it only strikes a victim once.

This epidemic began sweeping campuses about four years ago. Before that, it only struck occasional girls--immigrants who had a grandmother from the old country living with them or beatniks, whose degenerate living made them very susceptible. Then, like syphilis, pierced-ear illness was something to be ashamed of: nice girls just didn't make holes in their ears.

But just about the time when Marimekkos and low heels were becoming marks of style, not pregnancy, pierced ears lost the stigma of a sailor's tattoo, and gained the status of a purple heart. The change was part of a broader fashion revolution which favored Bohemia over Balenciaga, Greek book bags over alligator pocketbooks, and sandals over spike heels. Greenwich Village was invading Park Avenue; the outs were in.

At first, the only girls who succumbed were ones with long, straight hair, soulful looks and knee-length boots. They generally favored long, dangling spike earrings which looked like nails hanging from their ears. But the fever began to infect others, who carry green bookbags, look earnest, and wear sensible shoes. These girls like small earrings which fit like cufflinks in the center of the lobe. As yet the illness has not struck girls who wear cashmere sweaters and stockings to class and only date members of the Porcellian Club, but their immunity will probably not last long.

It is difficult to know exactly how many 'Cliffies have pierced ears. Careful observation is essential to this sort of census because so many ears are hidden by hair.

What makes a healthy, unblemished girl decide to poke holes through her ears? The reasons are numerous. At first, it was a challenge and a sign of being off-beat. The girl who had pierced ears belonged to an elite group, whose members, rejoicing in their radicalness, felt a certain kinship to other piercees. The bond resembled that among owners of Jaguar sportscars, who honk loudly whenever they pass a confrere on the road. Also, ear piercing was a method of rebellion against parental authority. Mother, who had worn screw-on button earrings all her life, was horrified to see slivers of wood or tin dripping from her daughter's lobes.

But all this has changed recently. Now the piercee is simply following a well-worn path, not blazing a trail. Just as she plinked on a guitar last year, the informed 'Cliffie this year pierced her ears. How can mothers protest when "all the other girls on my corridor have pierced ears?" Furthermore, some mothers are not beating, but joining, the trend. It is not surprising to hear of a mother and daughter having their ears pierced at the same time, perhaps to present a solid front against the male wrath.

A girl with holes in her ears simply can't run around with the wind whistling through her lobes. Consequently, pierced ears are a good excuse for wearing earrings on the beach, in the bathtub, and anywhere else where screw earrings are usually frowned upon.

There are problems, of course. Every piercee lives in fear that sometime the earring will be yanked through the bottom of her lobe. Ear piercing provides a potential modern analogy of the ancient Chinese tortures, in which victims were suspended by their thumbs. One girl, hiking in the White Mountains, found that her earrings were so long that they kept catching on low-droping branches. Finally, she took to wearing a sailor hat for fear that she might keep walking some time when her earring was hooked on a branch a few feet back.

Sometimes a piercee is a girl who just never liked non-pierced earrings. The clip earrings always hurt her ears, and the screw ones either slid sideways or fell off during the evening. Pierced ears seemed a good way to remedy such problems, because the piercee cannot feel the earrings she is wearing. Of course, pierced earrings are not completely loss-proof. One 'Cliffie wore her earrings to sleep, and woke up the next morning to find one gone. She looked under the pllow and searched the sheets, but with no luck, and so considered the earring lost. When she changed her sheets the next wek, she found the missing earring nestled against the mattress. Another student lost a pair of pierced earrings when they slipped out of her pocketbook as she carried them to the jeweler.

Potential piercees often fear the actual piercing operation, but it is done skillfully, it is really quite painless because of the lack of sensibility in the ear lobes. There are three main schools of piercing, which differ considerably in price and aftereffects: the antiseptic, the abortion and the sadomasochistic.

The antiseptic method requires that a doctor pierce the ears in his office. Mothers approve of this school more than the others. There are several doctors in the Square who pierce ears, and they charge between ten and fiteen dollars. The pain is usually slight, but since doctors are not used to the job, the results are often not too good. One girl who had her ears perced by the doctor found that the hole from the front of her ear did not quite meet the one from the back. So she allowed the openings to close up, and tried again.

The second time, a girl might try the abortion school. The abortionst is usually a jeweler who is looking for a little pocket money and a way to sell more earrings. Often, the jeweler does not charge for the piercing, but insists that the girl buy a pair of twenty-dollar earrings before she leaves. After the potential piercee picks out her earrings, she sits on a stool with her back against the wall, while the piercer jabs a thick needle through the lobe into the cork he is holding behind it. The pain is minimal, and the results are often the best of the three schools, because the piercer is so experienced.

However, to avoid any malpractice suits, one very successful abortionist in New York City makes all his customers sign affidavits which say, "--------pierced my ears with sterile instruments, and if they should become infected, I promise not to sue."

The sado-masochistic mehod is a remnant of the do-it-yourself craze. The masochist uses small earrings with a spring which can be adjusted to vary the amount of pressure on the ear. By clipping on these earrings and adjusting the springs, the masochist can pierce her own ears at her own rate of speed. A problem may arise, however, if the earrings are knocked awry during sleep; a piercee might awaken to find that the holes in her two ears don't match.

The sadistic method can be considered a variation on the abortion, but it is usually done free of charge by a supposed friend, who pierces all the ears in the dormitory. Unfortunately, even the best-intentioned sadists often use unsterile tools, and infections are common.

Even those stubborn souls who have thus far kept their ears intact have not remained untouched. Earring wearing has become much more common, and even non-piercees often sport earrings to class. And, significantly, the latest fashion in earrings is one which looks as though it is for pierced ears, but really screws on to the ears of the timid