First the Ibis disappeared, then some common (comment) books vanished, then a smoke bomb exploded, and now a phony cocktail party is revealed. Boy, are those 'Poonies ever having fun.

Last week some mysterious villain broke into the Lampoon Castle in Freedom Square and took some invitation forms. These were then sent to distinguished undergraduates (including the President of the CRIMSON) and numerous faculty members, inviting them to a party today to meet Salvador Dali.

Well, gang, this has upset the 'Poonies fantastically. The thought of nearly 100 faculty members assaulting the Castle in black ties has the Lampoon horrified--in fact, mortified.

'Poon officials have asked the CRIMSON, as a public service, to warn all invited that there will be no cocktails or Dali at the Castle today. Always eager to serve, the CRIMSON graciously consented to print this information.