At 9:15 a.m. undergraduates will start to scrawl their final exams, turning out messy little bluebooks decorated with illegible calligraphs. This is a fine old tradition since it encourages section men to strain their eyes--which either develops their eye muscles or keeps optometrists employed, both noble effects. Furthermore, the bluebook scrawl preserves the graders' traditional right to punish an undergraduate for bad penmanship. This results in suffering for both graded and grader, and suffering, as we all know, is a part of growing up, which is good.

Thus it is time to take a stand against those radicals who would allow students to type their examinations. Such agitation might eventually force the Administration to take some action after to these many years of investigation. Ignoring the merits of the agitators' demands, it is a priori and obviously true that agitation per se is an evil, which is certainly not good. And so the Administration should not exert itself and should block these self-styled progressives who want to type examinations.

Furthermore, bad handwritings reveal disturbed personalities--people with complexes. Such people should not be heeded.