Gophers have dirty teeth, yellow bottoms, and thirteen stripes of a width-wise sort. They dig holes that trip cattle and eat grain, which aggravates farmers. They also incurred the enmity of Senator Richard L. Neuberger of Oregon, as if they didn't have enough trouble with nasty little men who pump bisulphide of carbon into their burrows. But at least these men make no pretensions about their aims, while Senator Neuberger has a sneaky, insidious scheme for annihilation.

His evil intents are masked beneath his proposal to forbid billboards from the sides of Federal highways. The Senator knows full well how much gophers like shade when 4 p.m. on a hot summer's eve is at hand. He is also well aware that when holes are dug to plant the billboards, it gives the digging creatures a helping hand.

As if this were not bad enough, the Senator's plot will deal a vicious blow to the chipmunks, who are already struggling to the limits of their tiny, furry little paws against snakes, hawks, foxes, and, worst of all, weasels. The cunning craft of the Senator stands stark before us when we recall that he posed, but a few short months ago, as the friend of the White House squirrels who used to frolic carefree before the lawn became the thirteenth green.

If not for the sake of the gopher (Spermophilus tridecemlineatus), then the Senator should at least show mercy for the sake of the chipmunk (Tamais and Eutamius).