Pity the poor history major. His troubles began with departures to other coleges, were compounded by vacations, were aggravated by sabatticals, and were culiminated by Guggenheim Fellowships. The exodus leaves the department without Gilmore, Hammond, McKay, Schlesinger, Wolff, Bailyn, Conway, and McGann; Malia in the springtime; Albion and Graubard in the fall. So pity the history major as he tries to find a professor. Sorrow for him as he searches for courses with which to pass generals. Grieve for him as he looks for Greece, early Rome, most of the Middle Ages, half of Renaissance and Reformation, Russia from 1801 to 1917, the Tudors, the Stuarts, Canada, Argentina, Venezuela, Ireland, the American Revolution, the South, American Intellectual History, and Oceanic History, to mention only a few. A few departures, several second string professors, some gaps in the department--these can be tolerated. But the present deluge is somewhat frightening. Still, the history major will carry on--unloved, unwanted, and now uneducated--pity the poor history major.