Hitting all the flat notes of "Abie's Irish Rose," this caponized musical comedy is distinguishable from a high-school senior show only by the tunefulness of Sammy Fain's songs and the occasional appearances on stage of Miss Vivienne Segal of "Pal Joey" fame. And since Miss Segal isn't visible for more than 20 minutes, one wonders why she ever became enmeshed in this melange of heavenly half-backs, very un-Celtic wans of the Fighting Irish, and the 1946 Army-Notre Dame game.

All the show lacks is a usable plot, reasonably funny writing, good direction, and competent acting. Bits here and there lend a professional touch: Two songs, "Love Is a Random Thing" and "A Slight Case of Ecstasy" ought to make the rounds of the dance bands despite their indigestible lyrics. Miss Segal's stage presence and ability to toss off lines shame the rest of the east, although she is given practically nothing clever to say and even less to sing. On a basis of personal attractiveness and or capacity to sing, dance, or be funny, J. Edward Bromberg, Warde Donavan, Alma Kaye, and Margaret Phelan seem highly unsuited to musical comedy. Towering Frank Marlowe's amusing facial expressions and amazing Falls put over a questionable production entitled "I wanna Go to City College," and Gus Van did well with a quaint ditty called "MuInerney's Farm."

The producers deserve some applause for their great restraint in not including one smutty story or involved Freudian ballet, but the book is so flimsy as to defy exposition. It is more than likely that New Yorkers will stay away from "Toplitsky" in droves should the show strvive its Hub stay and the long, cold trip south on the New Haven.