After a prolonged vacation from the published pen, we return--a little more bewildered, perhaps--but we return. "Californiaer," as the people in this "areaer" so quaintly put it, was divine--especially the women, or woman, depending on whose view you take.

Hank "the Broon" Sheller and Red English spent six days of their leave together--on the train. Tom Wilcox, "Dreamboat" Walker, Sam Wolf, et al, let no grass grow under their respective feet, for they all had dates immediately after returning to the Hub. What were your dates' names, boys? What do you mean, you don't know?

Don Strauss says that he took out the second worst looking girl in Boston last Saturday--the honor of being number one he bestows upon Jim Tillotson's date. Randolph "Just call me Dolph" Phillips spent the weekend at a local girls' school. Nothing serious, says he of the chalkcolored face.

Ben Nielsen has "Doc" Reichard taking the place of Dr. I.Q. Just say, "I have a woman in the balcony, Doctor," and watch the expression on his face. Our humble apology to Mr. A. L. Samman for letting the boys down by not divulging their inner lives in the HSN of late.

Jack Puckett spent the greater part of last Sunday reducing his radio to an atom-smasher--or something that makes a horrible noise when desired.

Advice to prospective husbands will be given free by Ensigns Stein, Murray, Selzer, and M. C. Smith. They're all still wearing good conduct bars, too. Hmmm. (This was brought to our attention by Long John Smith of the Miss. hills.)

Hard hit by a desire to view the wilderness, Don "Hairless Joe" Royce and Max "Lonesome Polecat" Richards journeyed to Wellesley and thence to the Totem Pole for a little weekend excitement. And then we have the life and love of Bill Shuey of the stoned fame, and his crushing roommate H. P. Mitchell, late of UCLA. Recent cowardly attacks upon our sovereign state by H. B. Wood under the watchful eye of a prominent naval officer--better known as "the protector"--have caused us here to remark that the Golden State waits only for Florida to secede to join the Union.

A recent rash of sunshine in Beantown has caused such stalwarts as "Iron Phil" Masquelette and "Terrible Ted" Marchese to shed their lining in favor of the garb of a horsehider and to play a little ball. Some of us, you see, are a little more athletic than others. Good weather brought with it a few aches and pains in the form of early morn exercises, courtesy of the athletic department, and dismayed Messrs. Sinberg and Lifschultz of "left side first" notoriety. Combining a fanatical desire and his bull strength, Kevin "the Bull" O'Donnell makes mad tracks daily for the nearest available pigeon, who is innocently getting his own and winds up on the procurement end of D-24's box