Bowser College, as you know, is a great University in the west. It is a very famous school, and people from all over the country know it and send their children there. People who like Bowser also have the habit of dying and leaving their money to the school, with the result that Bowser is a very rich college indeed.
We keep telling you about Bowser because, despite its fame and reknown, many people consider it a hole. We hope --by pointing out the sad defects of Bowser--to elevate, in the opinions of all, the more enlightened University we attend.
Bowser Has Students Club
Bowser College has what it calls a Students Club. It is not a very elaborate affair, but because it has a monopoly on students' business, it does a landslide business. This enables it to stay open only when its proprietors feel like it, When it is open, the students starved by the dearth of meals in Bullie Hall, rush to it and eat and drink of a limited variety of food-stuffs. One might think that such an institution would be profitable but such is not the case.
Our friend, Elwyn Potash, who now attends Harvard, testifies to that. Elwyn belonged to Mida Shipa Fraternity at Bowser. There were several other such fraternities such as Supplia Schools, Stata Tisha, etc. Altogether there were about 2,300 students at Bowser. With such a large student body, Elwyn had always felt that the Student Club must be rolling in coin.
Stata Tisha There First
He remembers he could never get into the Club because the boys from the State Tisha Fraternity were always there first. He remembers, too, that he was not allowed to bring his young wife to the campus after 8:00 P.M. (Elwyn was a civilian; hence he did not think in terms of 2000) because of over-crowding the facilities. Surely, Elwyn remembers thinking at the time, if such is the case, the Student Club must be doing well.
But Elwyn was disillusioned. Just the other day, he received a short note from Bowser:
"You were observed on the walk in front of the Bowser Student Club. The walk is a Student Club facility. All those who have used Student Club facilities will be assessed $6 per year for the rest of their natural lives."
Elwyn Boorish as Usual
We have always considered Elwyn something of a boor, and in this case, he lived up to our estimation of him. He began to wonder just what his was all about. He performed a simple arithmetic computation. He multiplied the $6 by the 2300 Bowser students and discovered that they were contributing $13,300 per year for the maintenance of the Student Club. He protested.
Bowser replied with righteous indignation and with a nexpense account:
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