The members of Dog would like to go on record as saying that it was a lot of fun playing Host to the New Company Easy on May 1st. We now have a rough idea of what all those papers were that we signed and recopied the first day we arrived . . . at least we have seen them once again. "It wasn't like the Maypole Dance we had back in Minnesota," quoth Mervin Lysing, "Not with the size of some of those Bags I toted around."

You are all invited to send in your contribs to this column so that all may share in a laugh or two or be advised of who is about to pass out cigars . . . So let's have those news items. We will print anything except what actually happens on a Saturday night.

Judging from the list of Dog Men in the recent ALNAV we should be getting our invites to the "wetting down" party in the very new future. As is the custom, all the new j.g.'s invite their friends to this "wetting down," pay the bill and we drink it . . . Make it quick, m'lads.

WANTED: A high speed camera that will be fast enough to catch Milton Gerson in his room at any time of day or night when he hasn't taken his shoes off . . . A fool proof invention on that would cover the hat changing problem. A quick presto! changoo! affair with three colors . . . Escalators to the top deck of all dormitories for us short-winded lads, . . . A phone that is not within two feet of a main entrance of a dorm . . . Some real music to accompany the movies on Tuesday nights instead of the excuse offered for the same that accompanies the Wild Westerns and G-Men films seen so far . . . An automatic "Hep-one-two-three" machine that could be strapped to a section leader's back . . . An Admiral's Tea every Saturday Afternoon about 1400 with Liberty for all who attend . . . A telephone installed in Company Easy's Platoon No. 6 Leader to comply with this request to Regimental Officer.