In response from a crisp little note from the Administrative office ... quote: "The Service News would like its copy by Tuesday a. m, if possible ... and make it hot!" Wonder which secretary 'ad libbed" that item to the note.

'Twas a balmy Sunday morning when our young disbursing officer Ensign Water Tight Drawers arose for his first day of duty. All of his specimens from the Harvard supply school were neatly stacked from the deck of the cabin to the roof ... Yes, he had this stuff cold ... The G. A. O. was just a blow ... After all congress passed a relieving bill to keep all D. O.s out of Portsmouth after the last war.

In came dispatch orders for his chief Pay Clerk with the four hash marks to be detached immediately... But after all, his specimens were still there. Net two cans came up two points abaft the beam, both of which wanted two certified money lists taken care of ... While he was delving into his specimens ... Along came a detachment of marines who hadn't been paid for six months ... He tole them to get in line ... Things certainly were picking up ... Next he was notified there were three dead bodies below with their transfer pay accounts. Next came three wives who claimed their husbands were on Skmc because of their own misconduct ... Ensign Drawers pulled out a special desk for them to sit on and first with the new pay clerk who had just flunked out of the Harvard supply school ... Ensign Drawers couldn't find anything in his specimens as to how to do six different things at the same time. The C. O.ordered pay day the next day for the crew, officers, and an attached coast guard cutter ... An armed guard crew was picked up floating into port with partial pay cards .. After their latest Ready, Aim, Fire, Abandon Ship episode ... He started spreading his specimens in the gangways and tacking them on the bulkheads ... Ensign Drawers began to tighten up ... He had to pull through ... After all he had to make the next American Legion if he wanted to run for Congress.

Then in the door walked something very rate in Naval History ... An aviator who had been attached to submarine with fight orders complete with hours and three 30 fathom dives with an authorized advance and three applications for allotments. The aviator insisted he should receive 50 per cent times his submarine pay because he was a pilot, and 50 per cent times his aviation pay because be was on a submarine. He also wanted an increase of five years longevity because he had five years in the Kansas State Sea Scouts ... Suddenly Ensign Drawers awoke ... Sure is great to be in Portsmouth, he mused.

Local Flash Burns should receive a cut from a certain night club the way he has been plugging their attractions. We wonder how so many in one class could be on the privilege list and the passing list too ... cbuld this be an aversion to the law of averages ... Or is it.

We're begun to believe Mabel is sittin' on glass eggs ... It's been three weeks now and still no results ... Some farmer told me it takes four however ... so here's hopin ... Papa duck hasn't been seen by the j. g. of B23 lately ... We hope he isn't two timing Mabel at this critical stage.

This problem of rank to Bill Farrell is becoming graver every day ... 'Tis rumored the First Lt. WAAC to whom he is engaged is about to be promoted to Captain ... They say being a House-husband isn't so bad.

What's the matter, Bundshaft ... Why have you started taking it easy at exercises ... The best "scuttlebutt of the week" ... A big three hour exam was to be given last Saturday to determine the men for the speed-up course for D, O.s for V-12 schools. You should have seen the landlubbers cram.