The Professor: Monday morning quarterback school is called to order, gentlemen. Carl Snavely of Cornell and Red Blaik of Dartmouth go to the head of the class this morning. Step right up, boys."

Red Blalk: "I was very pleased with the way my boys played against Harvard, but from now on the schedule gets tougher every week. Harvard misses Torbie Macdonald in the worst way."

The Professor: "Come now, how about that line of yours which made the Crimson attack look like the boys were operating in a swimming pool? And somebody did a nice scouting job for you. No secrets, now, Red."

Red Blalk: "Toss some bouquets in the direction of Harry Ellinger, my line coach. I thought we had a good line before the game and now I know it."

The Professor: "You're the toast of the East, Brother Snavely, for the job your Big Redmen did on Ohio State in their own back yard. You get an 'A' on the report card for that."

Carl Snavely: "The way Ohio got those first two quick touchdowns, Professor, made me hope that we could keep the score down. But at the end they were lucky we didn't get up into the thirties."

The Professor: "Coach Schmidt of Ohio spent last Friday duck hunting. Let's hope he has good shooting the day before the Scarlet play Chicago."

"Where's Dick Harlow? We can't let him hide behind that column of cigar smoke any longer. Step up and tell us about the gooseggs you collected Saturday, Dick."

Dick Harlow: "We met a very fine football team Saturday, and inexperience, especially in line blocking, weighed heavily against us. I don't plan any immediate or drastic changes in our lineup; we'll just have to try and get along as best we can."

The Professor: "We understand what you mean, Dick, but I'd like to see you after school for a few minutes. Now, let's hear about our other mid-western invasion from Ducky Pond of Yale."

Ducky Pond: "What a man that Tom Harmon of Michigan is! Boys, you can all thank your lucky stars that he couldn't get into Dartmouth. It wasn't a question of our folding up or wilting--Michigan really has a ball club. Harmon! He's tall, he's tan, he's terrific!"

The Professor: George Munger of Penn and Tad Wieman of Princeton step to the front."

George Munger: "Sweet Lalanne, heavenly flower."

Tad Wleman: "It was our turn to sweep some team off its feet in the first quarter. We really clicked at times against Brown."