Late last night Nathaniel G. Benchley '37, President of the Lampoon expressed his fear that the Lampy team cannot play if it rains today. His complete statement to the Crimson follows: "I fear that the Lampy team cannot play if it rains today".

Probable lineups for today's game: CRIMSON  LAMPOON C. Storey, lf  rf, A. Zwoncus J. Reidy, rf  cf, B. Zwoncus C. Foote, ss  lf, C. Zwoncus C. Weinberger, p  c, U. Dope J. Field, lb  1b, A. Dope J. Allen, c  2b, D. Zwoncus J. Tyson, 2b  3b, E. Zwoncus J. McCutcheon, 3b  ss, Z. Zwoncus, Jr. H. F. Huey, OcC, cf  p, E. Ibis

Winding up the season's gruelling practice upon their secret practice field behind their palatial Plympton Street clubhouse and training quarters, the CRIMSON Varsity nine announced itself ready for the annual descent to the minors to play ball with their funny rivals down the street, who, for want of a better have taken upon themselves the title of Lampoon.

Strengthened by a very tight infield, the Lampoon ball team will take on the legitimate newsmen, who have not been defeated since 1907, when a nifty outfit from a neighboring female institution took them over. Boasting a powerhouse in Chorister Storey who will lead the CRIME into action, the Plympton Street batsmen feel they can cope with the fast balls offered by pitcher Elmer G. Ibis of the alleged humorists. Ibis has broken up many a game with a timely hit and has given the bird to the CRIMSON on several occasions.

Ajax Dope, regular first sacker of the Ibismen, who is suffering from a heavy cold incurred in last night's practice game, may not be able to start. In that case Benchley, who has never been able to get to first base, may take over the position. Another last-minute substitution that Jester, coach of Lampy, has in mind, is replacing Z. Zwoncus, Jr., son of Z. Zwoncus, Sr., former catching great for the funnymen, with Bobby Bunker at short. Bunker, who makes a hit anywhere, is anxiously awaiting his chance, it is said.

In order that the score may not be as lopsided as it always is, the command at the CRIMSON practices for the past few days has been that the boys need not go into their usual spring training, but even with this handicap, those in the know have put their money on the red CRIMSON nose to win, 23-2.

After great difficulty special arrangements have been consummated which will allow those undergraduates and friends of the University who would like to attend this forty-third annual extravaganza to do so. Simply arrive at Soldiers Field after 3 o'clock this afternoon.