In a desperate communication received yesterday by the CRIMSON from Vogue, leading feminine fashion magazine, it was revealed that cosmetics manufacturers, charm schools, dancing academies, all, all are wasting their time. The only important thing in woman's relations with man is clothes. "A girl's day," the managing editor of Vogue confessed to the CRIMSON, "can be made or blasted by masculine comment on her clothes."

Dress for Men

Humbly confessing, at last, that women dress, not for women, but for men, the nation's leading advisers on female apparel have come to more man for his decree. In a final plea for advice the letter closes with a desperate "Please don't let us down, we need your help!"

The Executive Board of the CRIMSON was called into extraordinary session immediately by the President and a committee appointed to investigate the matters referred to in the questionnaire accompanying the letter, and to frame suitable answers for the women in distress. Following is a transcript of the questionnaire with answers finally agreed upon by the committee.

"1. Do you like girls who are pretty rather than smart? Smart rather than pretty?'

1. A. We like girls who are pretty and smart. Girls who are smart rather than pretty, or pretty rather than smart, we cannot help feeling have missed something.

Slinky vs. Fluffy

"2. Which do you prefer: slinky evening dresses? fluffy evening dresses?

2. A. We feel it incumbent on ourselves to confess a slight preference for slinky evening dresses. However, we have always desired to see certain girls in evening dresses that are slinky about the hips and fluffy about the shoulders, and certain other girls in gowns which are fluffy about the hips and slinky about the shoulders. Other girls, of course, we should prefer not to wear evening gowns.

"3. Do you like: a, very low-necked dresses? b, perfume? c, adornments in the hair? d, imitation jewelry? e, evident makeup? f, bright red nails? g, flat-heeled shoes?"

3. A. Yes, to all except 'e', but we don't see what flat-heeled shoes have to do with it.

"4. Do you notice these details: stockings? gloves? bags?"

4. A. Yes, particularly when the seam of the stocking is awry and coils itself like an ungainly serpent around a girl's dainty calf.

"5. What is your favorite daytime costume? b, Do you like to see girls in sport clothes, or fur-trimmed town costumes, or severe suits?"

5. A. Our favorite daytime costume is a gabardine suit, plaid socks and bow tie to match, saddle shoes, pork pie hat, but how does this enter? b, Yes, if they're pretty, the girls, we mean.