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THE CRIME

War Breaks Out

As some of our readers may know, several of us have been in a position to learn the inside dope on the German Measles epidemic. Our first representative, released yesterday from the rigid censorship of Stillman Infirmary, tells us that the Teutonic Plague is only the causus bell for an intrigue between Dr. Hathaway and Dr. Means.

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Each has about the same number of patients, apparently physically the same and afflicted with the same disease but each knows about a different gargle. While Dr. Hathaway firmly ensconces his support behind sickly, sweet Glucose, Dr. Means defiantly orders Dobell's, which is rumored but not confirmed to contain carbolic acid.

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Not only do patients assume the status of guinea pigs in this war of the gargles but the nurses are strained to the breaking point with intricate detail. Four times a day, they must see that over thirty throats come into contact with the proper fluid. Charts, vocal instruments, and pleas all come to the fore for apparently a mistake would be fatal.

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When the red rash appears therefore and a trip to the Hygiene Building becomes a necessity, the importance of getting the right doctor becomes paramount. We strongly advise Dr. Means for Dobell's and the carbolic threat keep one on the ball four times a day. Of course, the other day a patient with his own doctor was put on Lavoris. Unfortunately he recovered and left not for the cemetery but for home.

The second installment of the Means-Hathaway War will appear in this column tomorrow morning.

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