While the rest of the world may continue to use the simple phrase "goodbye" as a means of farewell, one of our friends has discovered that its use by a Harvard man may provoke disturbing consequences.

No sooner liad he said "goodbye" to us the other morning that his hand was grasped greedily by an individual who exclaimed, "Say, I like the way you said goodbye; it sounds so educated." Only Crimson breeding prevented an imminent collapse. Instead, our friend sat down on the curbstone with Mr. Average Citizen who wanted to learn if a Kittredgitie education could solve some of his personal problems.

It seems that Mr. Average Citizen had a law suit on his hands. While pursuing his occupation as a drainlayer last spring, his finger was bitten by a horse attached to a Whiting's milk fruck. The damage was small but the mental anguish was so great that the legal profession had been unable to capitalize fully on it.

He was sufficiently satisfied by the reply to ask a second question. How could his son, "as big as a house", become a prize-fighter? Our friend did his best but he told us afterwards that while Professor Kittredge had done his best by Will Shakespeare as Clarence Darrow, he had neglected him completely as a Mike Jacobs.

(Proof of the accuracy of this story may be obtained at the CRIMSON office.)