Up and down the streets they go, the loudspeakers blaring, the horns honking, the henchmen cheering, and the political boss who organizes the loudest noise brigade wins the election. For America loves a big noise, and the bigger and noisier, the better they love it. The political boss must be colorful, for America loves a showman. The political boss must be clever, for America loves a juggler. Dazzle the common man, for Honest John Public loves to be dazzled, either with gilded promises or gilded coins, and the brightest dazzler wins.

Tippecanoe and Tyler too! Remember the Alamo! He kept us out of war! Keep cool with Coolidge! Every man a king! When I was a child, I spake as a child; but someday the American voter will grow up and say, Now that I have become a man I have put away childish things, Someday the American voter may achieve education enough to put more faith in sane words than in same jingoes.

The old battle cries are filling the air. It is election time. It is a time for rallies and demonstrates. it is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party. Boos for the opposition and booze for our side. We point with bride and we view with alarm. We must defend the Constitution. We must defend the American flag. We must protect the rights of the people.

Four reasons you should vote for Buncombe Pratt: He is a democrat! His father was a democrat! He is an American! He is of the people, by the people, and for the people! Wave the flag, strike up the band, the Stars and Stripes Forever!

And so it goes. Generation after generation of American voters, falling for the same old stuff Barnum gave them in the Greatest Show on Earth. There's a sucker born every minute, and at twenty-one he becomes a voter. America is like a bass drum, big and noisy. Step right inside, folks, On with the show!